Guardian
by Pinklove21
Summary: Vindicator. Intruder. Cheater. Guardian. It matters who you are for what he is in this arena, but the only thing that matters to him? Keeping one girl safe from harm to send her home. Don't own THG.
1. Bitterness

**Hello my lovely readers! This is actually the fantastic idea of **_**eckles**_**, who has asked me to bring his story to life. I hope it doesn't disappoint, and for the rest of you, I hope you enjoy another Galeniss story!**

* * *

A blush kisses the sky in the pre-dawn of the new day, begging to be seen by the few awake at this hour. Normally there would be plenty of watchers, waking for work in the mines or shops, but not today. Today is a day that many attempt to sleep in-if they can.

I don't fall into that category even if I had that liberty. Being the breadwinner for my family at as a teenager his a heady task, and yet one I've been doing for years now. And yet most of the time I don't mind it, the hunting in the woods, the fresh air that is a relief from the district's grey coal dust, the satisfying thunk into the flesh of animals when I manage to find and shoot them. This hour is one I've seen here in these woods for a long time and usually a ghost of a smile would grace my face when it came, as it meant it was time to go. Today, however, is different. Too much stress to think about the innocence of the sky.

"_Reaping Day." My best friend reminds me gloomily as he picks at a worthless twig, relieving the bark from its stem as he broods._

"_We'll get through it again." I predict with more confidence than I feel. A bitter snort from Gale beside me tells me that he knows how I really feel about it, but he doesn't call me out. We have too many slips of paper in that bowl, a better chance to get reaped than all of the town kids and many of the Seam ones too. It's not something to talk about though, especially today. Not when we can have a few more hours of ignorance._

"_And what about next year? It won't just be us anymore." He reminds me, as if it wasn't on my mind already. No, it won't be just us anymore. Both of us have younger siblings that will at twelve years old be in their first reaping next year. Prim and Rory. Just thinking about it makes me angry._

"_Then we'll save them." I state simply, knowing there isn't another option. Besides, both of them will only have one slip in the bowl because neither will take out tesserae like Gale and I do. We already talked about that and refuse to let them. It's not like I relish the thought of having to go into the arena if Prim was chosen, but it's a far better option for my conscience than letting her go in that death pit. That I couldn't handle._

"_For how long?" Gale frowns, "I'd only have next year to do that for Rory and you would only have three for Prim. Too many years of them unprotected."_

"_Well we can't very well change anyone's ages, Gale." I point out, knowing where this conversation is going before he even speaks a word of it._

"_But we can change where we are for the Reaping." He says, and I hold back a sigh. Here it is again._

"_And running is going to help us today how? You know it's worse right before the Games. They'll catch us and kill us before we even get five miles with all the kids. Or bring us back just to reap us into the Games to punish you and me." I argue, shuddering slightly when I think of the runners we didn't help last year that a hovercraft found. They killed the one and took the other, and we never saw either again. It's not a fate I relish even if living in the woods away from the Capitol's wrath and control would be a nice change. _

"_Then we'll leave during the Games. Without the school calling roll call, we would have at least a few days if not a few weeks ahead of them by the time they knew we were gone. Plus some of the peacekeepers might cover us for the mandatory broadcasts, like Darius and Purina." He debates, and I shake my head. _

"_We can't count on that." I shoot him down as gently as I can, knowing it's for the best. _

I was right. I wish I wasn't most of the time. But that conversation that unwillingly makes its way to my mind from a year ago today only makes me want to cry now. Not because I didn't run, but because Gale did.

I never thought he'd do it, to be honest. After we had that talk about it and I shot it down I thought that was the end of it. He grumbled under his breath, but that didn't faze me because he always did that after I made him see reality. That as sweet as running away would be, it wouldn't work. Besides, after we were both safe from the reaping he gave me a hug and all seemed fine, albeit he was still a bit antsy. I just put it down to the fact that he was still thinking of Rory and Prim being in there next year, and waved goodbye before going home with my family to eat a slightly larger dinner in relief that I was safe for another year.

I suppose he was still thinking of Rory then looking back now, and I just didn't anticipate what it meant. But the very next day he had vanished from his home, from the woods, from the Hob. It wasn't until I was well on my way home after exhausting my places to check that I realized he had run for it, really and truly.

Without me.

I went back and checked his house again just to be sure, and what I found only angered me further. Most of the dented kitchenware that the Hawthornes' owned was gone as well as all the blankets, a pillow or two, and Gale's hunting bag. All the food was gone too, even the food in the ice box that we had hunted just yesterday. It was more than enough proof for me and I wanted to just sit there and cry on the lumpy couch that I had sat in for years, but I couldn't. The peacekeepers would find out soon enough that they were missing, and I wasn't going to be there for them to find me when they did. For all I know, they could be coming to knock on the door now at my house to demand to know what happened to the Hawthornes, as we were probably their best source on the family.

I was off, but just on the timing. The banging on the door early morning the next day proved my thoughts and I nearly dropped my books on my foot from the sound if only because I dreaded this conversation. I was almost more irritated and hurt that Gale left me behind than the fact that he left at all, but I couldn't be thinking that.

Luckily it was Darius who questioned me, who seemed almost surprised to find me here which tells me he's shocked Gale left me behind too. With very few words he gathered that I had nothing to do with it and had no knowledge (well…real knowledge anyway. I never thought he'd actually go through with the plan) of them, he gathered the rest of the peacekeepers and they left for the woods to go find the Hawthornes.

About a week later, two days into the Hunger Games, another peacekeeper came knocking on our door to inform us that the runners had been caught and killed.

I've never cried so much in my life. Even for my father, who I had no time to mourn with two people to feed. I still had my mother and Prim to feed, but it wasn't as dire nor as hard as when I was a frightened eleven year old girl. And since I dared not to go to my woods to mourn my best friend and his family who seemed as my own most of the time, I crawled into the cellar to hide. I didn't come out until the next morning, though I knew there was a mandatory broadcasting. Perhaps the peacekeeper who came to check if I was watching heard me sobbing and assumed I was there, not wishing to deal with a crying girl. Perhaps they didn't check at all, knowing I'd never try something so stupid when my best friend did and died for it.

I did go to the woods again a few days later, more out of necessity than the fact that I wanted to. Who knows if security had gotten tighter or not? I would. But the fence was off as normal, and the woods were almost eerily silent. I avoided our spot for months but I hunted still, attempting to reset Gale's snares that he'd left behind but I never could do it as well as he did, and I never caught much of anything. My bow did not catch as much as I could have gotten had the snares worked or I had my partner to help since I felt helplessly half blind now when shooting, but we survived. I shot animals with my bow, some to take home and some to trade at the Hob. It was there I learned just how serious Gale had been about running.

He'd bought a tent months before the Hunger Games, old with a few tears that he thought that he could fix which would give it life for at least another few good years. He'd bought nails a month ago from the Hob Hardware guy Bruner, who claimed Gale paid extra for as many as Bruner could get the next day. Said he ended up scrounging up about three and a half dozen, which seems more than enough to me to build a cabin of some sort if you used them sparingly. From another vender he bought a water purifier a week before he left, claiming to the man as a joke that he needed cleaner bathwater. Greasy Sae hadn't sold him anything, but since the day he ran away she's looked at me with a pity I loathe. Eventually months after the fact as I was slurping down one of her slops, she ventured to bring him up.

"I never thought he'd leave you behind." She comments, if only because it's so busy in the Hob that no one can overhear us. I give her a frown and turn my eyes back to my bowl. Me too. He'd clearly been planning to leave for months, that was certain. All carefully hidden from me and probably his family too except for maybe Hazelle. But the kids couldn't have known. No, not at all. They'd promise and promise to not say a word and act like nothing was different, but one of them would have let it slip. Posy was only three and even if she had the slightest clue of what was going on she might have said something off hand. Most would have written it off as a toddler speaking nonsense but you never know.

But leave me behind of all people? I could have helped him hunt and put up the tent and keep watches. I wouldn't have left Prim or my mother behind, but I could have convinced them to go if I thought it was a good enough idea, had he on the off chance convinced me. So had that conversation been the last straw for him? I think it was, and he told me nothing to save me from the torture the peacekeepers surly would have done to get information out of me. Not that it matters now because he's dead and I'm alone again without a hunting partner. He's dead. They're dead. I'm alone. Bad idea for everyone.

"Me too." I whispered almost incoherently before putting down the bowl and slinking off, not wanting anyone to see the tears threatening to fall.

That was months ago now. I haven't allowed any tears to fall since then except for here in our spot, but I'm no less bitter. It's been a hard year and this will be a harder reaping, as the threat of Prim having her name in the reaping bowl looms over my head even heavier than it did last year. I've still managed to get enough on the table without her having to take out tesserae thank god, but just barely. It was so much easier to say that with Gale around to help me hunt.

It was also easier to think of going into the arena back when I had assurance that Prim would be alright with me gone or dead. Gale would have taken care of her just as I would have taken care of his family in the case either of us went to the arena. Now that's gone with Gale. If I get chosen today, I don't know what will happen to Prim and my mother. Prim can't hunt, and what my mother receives from her Seam customers is next to nothing for her apothecary skills-not that she'd ask for more when all of the Seam has next to nothing. Which means they would have Lady to give them cheese and milk until I had to return as a Victor. But more likely than not, I'd be just as dead as Gale and the rest of the Hawthornes and they would die too at some point. It's not a thought I relish thinking of, but a crude possibility.

With that bitter thought in mind, I get up as the sky starts turning to a light shade of blue and hunt and gather strawberries, never getting as much as just last year. But I've scrounged up enough that I can bring a rabbit home along with some stale bread with another rabbit, some greens, and some coins from selling all the strawberries. The coins are more than I should have received, but Madge had closed the door before I could protest against it. I hate the pity offer, but since I do need the coin I swallow my pride and force myself to go home with it.

The walk home is rather uneventful since people are undoubtedly getting ready for the reaping soon, something I'll have to dress quickly for as I was out in the woods longer than I intended. I realize since Gale stupidly left me here and tried and failed to escape with his family that I should be far more careful in the woods, but I'm not. Not really, anyway. The need for food is far greater than my fear, and as long as I'm not running I don't think the peacekeepers will say much of anything about it. Darius and the ones who frequent the Hob don't care, and Cray is always up for a nice fresh turkey. Naturally I don't get many of those of late because Gale was always the one that was good at getting turkeys mostly with his snares, but I get enough to ensure Cray leaves me generally alone to my long lonely hunting escapades.

"Katniss!" Prim calls my name, relieved as she gives me a hug no sooner than I've walked into our Seam home. Sighing, I hug her back and give her head a light kiss, assuring her that I'm fine. She's never admitted it, but ever since we heard the news that the Hawthornes' were killed for running she's terrified that I'll suffer the same fate one day and never come back. It's freaked her out for the last year if I'm late for good reason.

"I'm fine, Prim, just took me a little longer to gather strawberries than I thought." I comfort her, not telling her that the real reason is because I was sitting at our…my rock too long, thinking bitterly of last year and forcing back tears. I need to be strong for her, or at least pretend to be. Telling her that would do the opposite.

"You better hurry to clean up and dress then." My mother calls from the kitchen as she comes to see us at the door. "I left a basin and clothes for you in the bedroom."

I nod in reply, releasing myself from Prim's grasp to do such. I'm still not one for listening to my mother, but ever since last year I've tried harder. If Gale had convinced me to go with my family they'd be dead too, and that frightens me more than I'd like to admit. So I've really tried to mend my relationship with her and allow her to be a mother, which is harder than I expected. Of course she also looks at me with a pain in her eyes every time I try not to mention Gale to her or Prim. He's never far from my mind especially in the woods that will forever be our forest and not mine, but his ghost is safer locked in my head in the district, even here. You never know what people would think if I was seen to be missing a runner, even one who was known as my best friend. Not that my family would think ill of me, but I still need to be strong for them.

Once I'm washed as I'll get, dressed in a surprise of one of my mother's old dresses from her apothecary days in Town way back when, and my mother has braided my hair much fancier than normal as I scarf down a bowl of broth and tesserae bread that Prim brings me once she's eaten her own, we're on our way to the town square where most of the district has already gathered for the mandatory attendance. I slip my hand in Prim's and take her to her spot before my own closer to the stage, waiting for the Capitol escort Effie Trinket to choose the fate of the poor souls who were unlucky enough to not escape her manicured hands. I can only hope it's not mine. I don't know what my mother or Prim would do without me.

The ceremony goes by mainly with me not paying much attention until the names, but at the dead silence after the girl's name is called I find myself dumbstruck.

"No." I whisper in utter shock as the name is called, a choking feeling strangling me as I can't breathe. No. No. NO. Not that name.

Suddenly an almost bubbling laughter makes its way to my throat as I keep it down beneath the bitterness, because it has to be some kind of punishment of my very own. One slip. One. And it got chosen. Exactly what we feared in the woods last year, that we could only save them a few times. Well I suppose Gale had the right of it dying, because at least none of them had to die in front of cameras with the whole of Panem watching. I will, I think, as I cry to volunteer before Prim can even make her way to the stage, practically tripping over the rope to get there before she does.

They can't have her. They can have me.

Except now I can't go die in the Hunger Games like practically every single District 12 tribute there ever was. No, now I don't have anyone to take care of Prim or my mother, no pact that has to be kept. Because Gale died on me in his stupidity and…and…fickleheaded stubbornness, I have the gaunting task of winning in the arena.

I'm so lost in my world I almost miss the tribute of love from the district for me saving Prim, a twelve year old girl from her fate. Or maybe they're doing it out of pity. I don't know. I don't care. All I can think is how much I hate my best friend for dying on me and leaving me to this fate where I have little options to decide upon. There's only two, really. Win or the remaining Everdeens die.

I choose the former, even if it seems impossible.

* * *

"No." I gape as I watch District 12's reaping. It's a spectacle that the Capitol will love, but here in District 13 is only an example of why the Hunger Games are a terrible thing. As if anyone didn't know that already.

"A surprising turn of events." Boggs muses to himself, curious about the girl on the stage that almost looks…pissed under the shock. I can't imagine why.

"She has to win." I shake my head, wanting to punch something. Boggs seems to detect my anger as my fist closes and puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Easy, Lieutenant. There isn't anything you can do to control the arena." He points out, but I don't listen to him more out of desperation than lack of sense.

"Not from here there isn't." I point out, forcing myself to breathe. A violent rage isn't going to convince anyone in this room that we can do something about the Capitol and the fucking dictator _now, _much less the all commanding President Coin.

"What are you suggesting, Lieutenant Hawthorne?" she questions me, seeming almost amused under her normally bland and mundane face that hides all emotions. I'm struggling to keep my cool, but under the circumstances I think that's probably expected. It's not their best friend that just volunteered for the Hunger Games after all. It's not their friend that has to win because they left her to the District instead of convincing her to run with them and their family. For all I know she thinks I'm dead.

Those arguments will also not convince them that I have to help her win. What they need is a logical, clever plan that will incite a rebellion of some sort. Well I'm not sure it's very logical nor clever, but I'm desperate and at the moment it's the only thing I can think of.

"Katniss Everdeen has just exemplified that she is against the Capitol by volunteering for her little sister to make certain that a twelve year old doesn't die." I start off, knowing it goes far deeper than that but leaving that for later. "By her winning the Hunger Games, we can use her to push the rebellion into starting."

"And what do you propose we do to aid her victory?" President Coin questions me, crossing her hands over her chest.

I give a little smirk, knowing it's almost idiotic but I'd look forward to doing this mission. Killing those damn Careers while protecting Katniss is a win win in my book. "What she needs…is a guardian angel."


	2. Regret

_If I look back I'm lost._ I think as Command begins to discuss my idea in detail, arguing about this and that as I stay quiet, knowing that as long as I get in the arena the particulars don't matter much. Not that I necessarily want to go into the arena, but I don't have a choice now.

That's what I thought when I actually ran for it back in the district a year ago today. Though I don't regret it for my family's sake, I do rue leaving Katniss behind. I snort as I wonder if this is my karmic punishment for doing so. I leave her behind for my own family to keep us all safe from the reaping and now both of us are going to be in the arena. Actually, volunteering for it. And I thought the only person I could volunteer for was Rory.

Rory, Vick, and Posy were the reasons I started prepping to leave, though I denied that I actually would go through with it for a while. When I bought the tent I claimed to myself that it was a start for running, but it would end up being just a place for the kids to play in or sleep in during the summer if it got too crowded in our house, which it was. That was my explanation to the guy I bought if from too, who only laughed as he couldn't imagine a house that crowded since he lived by himself and that was more than enough company. It wasn't until about two weeks before that I accepted I was really going to run for it and told my mother.

Naturally she wasn't very convinced it would work, but once I told her that I knew the woods far better than the peacekeepers and I had a plan to evade them she reluctantly agreed. I think the only reason she agreed was because she thought Katniss was coming too with her mother and sister, therefore making sure we had more hands to carry things and hunt. I thought I'd be able to convince her too, stubborn or no. It was that last conversation in the woods the morning of the reaping that was the nail in that coffin. I knew that she wouldn't risk Prim's life on a slim chance that all of us could make it, so instead of telling her the plan I kept quiet for her own safety. After the reaping I hugged her, grateful she'd allowed me because I knew it was the last time I'd ever see her. I wish it'd lasted longer.

Even as I silently prepped for leaving during the mandatory broadcasting while my family ate dinner, I was starting to tell myself I was ridiculous for leaving Katniss behind but that I had to. If I looked back now I was lost. Granted mom and I hadn't told the kids yet that we were leaving everything they'd ever known in an hour or so, but I could tell Rory suspected something was up. In fact, it wasn't until the peacekeepers had come and left after checking us in for the mandatory broadcasting that I told them what was up. Vick was upset and Posy didn't seem to know what was going on, but Rory's face lit up. I think he thought of it as an adventure, of which I could only be grateful for because I was going to need him to grow up fast if he was going to help me at all. I actually had to require him now to help me since Katniss wouldn't be there.

And so we packed up and went by two and three out of the house towards the meadow, evading the peacekeepers by going first back of our yard and then east towards the fence where there were no lights or streets. I helped the kids and mom through the fence that was luckily not on (I had my doubts since the electricity was on in the district for the broadcasting), and we slipped into the darkness as I found my bow and quiver where I normally hide it, gesturing for my family to follow me to the rock Katniss and I met at most days. Once there, I finally broke the silence.

"You stay here for the night. Go that way and climb as best you can to the little cave underneath it." I instructed them, giving them one of the two flashlights I had. I knew it was a risk to leave them here since it was a spot I frequented and the peacekeepers would undoubtedly look here if they tracked it, but I figured I had at least until the next broadcasting at noon tomorrow to be unknown to have run. Besides, even I didn't know of that cave until I explored it a few weeks ago, which meant I doubt even Katniss knew of it. You'd have to be careful to get to it since it was pretty steep, but as long as they held onto the roots on the way there they should be alright. Posy would just have to hold on to someone and not fall.

"Are you going to meet Katniss somewhere?" Rory questioned me, seeming almost disappointed that he was being left behind.

"I'm going to make a false trail for the peacekeepers to follow." I informed them, avoiding Rory's question. He seemed to accept it and takes on the role of leader for the cave since I would be gone, taking Posy in his arms and instructing her to hold on tight piggyback style and told Vick to follow him. Mom stayed behind for a moment and looked at me.

"You be careful." She instructed, giving me a hug. I nodded and thought that was it, but then she gave me a curiously sad glance before speaking her mind. "You couldn't convince her to come."

We both knew the she that she was referring to, but mom had to know that I did what I could without giving us away. "I tried. I didn't tell her we were still leaving though so she should be safe enough." That was the important thing now, that she had no idea. I didn't want her tortured for information on my plans or whereabouts. Lord knows she'd be irate enough with me anyway, I didn't need to be the reason she was harmed.

Mom looked almost disappointed in me, but didn't say another word as she went to follow the kids. If I look back I'm lost, I wanted to tell her, but I didn't. Instead, I went back towards the trail here and went a different way, south of here. It was a creek that I knew twisted and turned, two forks in it every now and then. It would have been a decent plan to follow it and stay in the water so as to not have trails, but I knew that would be the first thing the peacekeepers would think of when scouring the woods for us. I gave them reason to believe so, following it as the moon went high in the sky, stepping out and making several foot paths before going back into the creek and following it back to where I came from, arriving where my family was right before dawn.

Once I was back I made them get up and we quietly had breakfast of the rabbit I caught yesterday and took out of our icebox. If we didn't eat it now it would go bad anyway, so we ate the whole thing. I took the bones with us so that we could make a soup with it later on, and we carefully made our way down to the valley I had looked upon for so long from that rock above us, setting northeast from our district.

I hurried us along that day at a quicker pace than I should have for fear of the peacekeepers catching onto my false trail too fast. I also feared for the hovercrafts, but there was less I could do about them. The only thing I could do really was to stay covered under trees as much as possible. And yet, there were no hovercraft that found us that day or the next. I slowed the pace for the kids and mom's sake, and set up the tent I'd bought well underneath a ledge of rock. It just barely fit, but it would suffice for a day or so. They needed to rest and I needed to hunt for food, as our supply was quickly running out.

That's how most of our days went for three weeks-walking what we could during the day, stopping at a place that was secure enough, hunting (even teaching Rory some along the way), and praying we wouldn't be found. The more time that went on, the more confident I'd become that we were going to get away with it. I thought about settling us one of the places we had stopped and building a cabin, but none of them were good enough. Not enough cover, not close enough to a fresh water source, etc. Once I swore I saw a hovercraft overhead and we hid in our tent for two days (not even risking hunting), but when there weren't peacekeepers coming for us and no sign of the hovercraft since, I allowed that we should move on.

Eventually I found myself in a place I'd only seen on television-the ruins of District 13. It looked different than I remembered, not smoking from the bombs still and less decimated though it was clearly ruins. And yet, there were new things there, things I'd never seen before on the television. A barbwired wall thirty feet high, a few scraped up buildings. I'd thought there were people that had run away like I had and camped here, so I ventured into it myself, leaving Rory behind to protect our family as I did so.

No sooner than I'd gotten five steps into what used to be the town square, I was surrounded by soldiers in grey with guns aimed at me. I dropped my bow immediately and put my hands up in surrender, hoping that when I was killed that Rory could somehow keep the others alive. He knew how to do some basic snares, and once he found out I was a goner he'd be smart enough to run for it. I'd hope he could evade these guys long enough to make it somewhere safe.

And yet I wasn't shot or killed. Instead, they forcefully took my arms and lead me into the ground where there was what seemed to be a living community of people taking me to their leader. It took some explaining that I was a runaway (which seemed pretty obvious to me) and more that I wasn't a Capitol spy (which took only a few minutes of my ranting about how I hated the Capitol to convince them of that). Eventually they told me I'd have a place here, and then I told them I had a family in the woods waiting for me. They seemed surprised and most of the soldiers were impressed by that, especially when I brought them back with me and they weren't even too sickly or starving.

That seemed to convince the soldiers of my worth anyway, because as soon as we were settled into a room and given grey clothing and shoes that didn't fit quite right they had me signed up for training every day. It was almost fun, the running and shooting and putting weapons together. What made it better was that my family was safe here; that was clear enough. The kids were in school, Posy in daycare, and mom did odd jobs just like most adults here. We got three meals a day, and while they weren't the best food they were more frequent than meals in District 12. As the months went by, I found myself easily leveling up in training to more difficult classes, and they even gave me time on a 'specialty weapon', the bow. I wasn't as good as Katniss nor would I ever be, but they seemed to think I was a pretty good shot. I suppose when you separate me from the best archer there is I am, I had just never thought I was that good comparing myself to her.

They gave me the test to be a full-fledged soldier about six months after I had arrived at District 13, and when I passed I was assigned to President Coin's own Captain to take orders from, Captain Boggs. He told me he had taken an instant liking to me once he found out I had successfully evaded the Capitol with my entire family, which surprised me well enough since he seemed a no nonsense kind of guy with burly shoulders and a stern face. But soon I found out that he had a sense of humor and a good heart, and I took a surprising liking to him as well.

About two months ago one of the people in our squad under Boggs had died on some secret mission, his second in command. I didn't know what the mission was as it was a top security thing, even to those of us in the same squad. Instead of choosing a seasoned soldier or someone older, to everyone's surprise he chose me as his new second in command. And so I became a Lieutenant in District 13's military, closer to the power and the plans.

With that upgrade which few people were happy with (though Boggs didn't seem to give a shit what people thought), my family and I were moved to a slightly bigger, nicer room and I was given a communicuff, something that only important people got. I kind of felt like a dick wearing it around District 13, especially when I was eating in the same cafeteria with everyone else, but there wasn't much I could do about it. Besides, I never particularly cared what people thought of me anyway aside from girls which there weren't near enough of my age here. So I threw myself into the work instead, following orders and training when I could, never offering an opinion out of place.

Until now, that is.

And even so, only Boggs seemed to realize just how much I was invested in this mission. I wouldn't have told even him about Katniss or her family or District 12, but he had told me all about District 13 and his life one night while we were up patrolling together so I felt obligated to do the same though it wasn't like me to do so. I almost regretted it because it was none of his business and he'd probably think I was an ass for leaving them behind, but in the end he made me feel better about it.

"No use regretting the past, Hawthorne. What's done is done." He told me, shrugging. "Besides, from what you've told me about her she should be able to make it on her own."

And I told myself that until now, when I do regret leaving. She has no one to take care of Prim and her mother because the pact we made clearly died when I left her there. Or at least it should have. Now I'm going to make good on it, in a way she doesn't even know is possible. I'm making sure that Prim and Mrs. Everdeen get food somehow during the Games though that will take some effort considering they might not take handouts from strangers or otherwise, and besides that someone might catch on that something's up. As for my own part…well, I suppose it's taking the pact to the extreme, but it's for a greater cause.

That night after most of the details are hashed out, I have the daunting task of telling my family what's up. Naturally they're not very happy with me, but they know they aren't going to stop me from going. Nothing will.

The next morning I wake up early and make my way to Command where Boggs is waiting for me along with President Coin. They take me to a hovercraft where President Coin nods at me as Boggs and I board.

"Do your duty well, Lieutenant." She stiffly orders me, "Don't make me regret breaking into our supply of informers." She warns, giving me a clue as to how they're going to pull this off. Hmm, so she's forcing people that are secretive supporters to the cause to aid me? I suppose it's the only way it would work, but I guess I hadn't thought that far.

"I won't." I promise as I follow Boggs onto the craft, taking my seat at a table with a hologram up.

"Courtesy of our friend the Gamemaker." He informs me as I look onto the arena. A wheat field in one area, the Cornucopia in the middle with twenty four starting plates, and forests galore. Perfect. If I'm going to be helping Katniss, then this forest will only help. It's her element. And mine. "Look quickly, we only have this for ten minutes. The Gamemaker didn't want to have it lost for more than that."

"I got it." I nod in understanding, looking around the hologram quickly. The Careers will most likely make their home around the Cornucopia, most if not all the other tributes fleeing to the woods if they manage to escape the bloodbath. I follow the largest creek with my finger, noting that it goes almost entirely to the edge of part of the arena on the western side. Good enough.

Once the arena disappears from our view, Boggs leads me over to another room where things are set out on a table. It appears to be several knives, a spool of wire that I insisted on having, an ax, clothes, water, food, and my long lost friend-the bow and quiver I came with that they confiscated when my family was brought underground into District 13. I smooth my hand over it's surface, feeling as if I'm gaining who I was just a year ago again. Then I look to the backpack and the clothing on top of it and frown.

"How the hell am I supposed to be covert with that?" I frown as I point to it. Because that wouldn't blend in the middle of a forest or even a Capitol street-it's a sturdy bright yellow that screams for attention.

Boggs smiles at me, clearly amused that I'm questioning it. "It's a reflective fabric, the best we have. Once they're on you you'll blend into anything surrounding you. They'll only look yellow to you, not to anyone or anything else."

"Alright." I concede, even if I'm not quite convinced. I pack everything including the clothes into the backpack and turn to find Boggs handing me a bag with other clothes in it, what looks like a standard maintenance worker suit for the arena.

I slip it on and come out of the room with the backpack on my back, looking in the mirror and finding that I look almost unforgettable in the clothes. But what surprises me more is that instead of finding myself seeing the backpack reflected, it appears I don't even have one. I twist and turn in the mirror, pleasantly surprised that Boggs wasn't joking about its capabilities. There's something to be said for that technology after all, it seems.

"Know the plan?" Boggs questions me, and I nod in reply.

"Well enough." I say, and then look to him. "Will you be staying in the Capitol then?"

"No, I have duties back at the home fort." He waves it off, "The Gamemaker will help you where he can, though he can't do everything. You'll still have to face the mutts and elements like everyone else."

"Yippy." I mutter, but I know I'm far better off than most of the tributes. Besides, I'm not the one they're after. They won't even know I exist.

The hovercraft shudders to a stop hours later, and Boggs motions for me to come over to him just as I'm about to go down the plank. "Lieutenant, do your duty. You know the mission and what it means, and you'll be sorry if you come back and mess it up. Understand?"

"Yes, sir, Captain." I nod in affirmation, knowing he's making a poor joke. I doubt if I fuck this up I'll be coming back to him to be sorry for anything. I'll be dead before he even has the chance to say a word to me.

But he doesn't say as much, and neither do I. Instead, he gives me a surprise hug that is out of normal procedure, coming out of the embrace and patting my shoulders. "Bring her home, kid. We'll do the rest."

"My family-" I start to almost panic, but he cuts me off.

"Will be safe in District 13 no matter what. And you do your mission well enough, they won't even see you on the screens." He assures me before pushing me lightly towards the plank.

"Thank you." I almost apologize to him, for more than just this. I know he is in part the reason I'm able to go through with this at all, and it's mostly because he knows how much this means to me when no one else does. He had the authority and the reasonability with the others to pull this off. Besides the fact that I'm surprising myself that I trust him to keep my family safe and help the Everdeens.

He gives me a half smile before backing away. "Give'em hell."

I smile to myself as I go down into the Capitol, intending to do just that.


	3. Enlighten

Once in the Capitol, it's more a matter of trying to be invisible than figuring out what to do next. Being invisible in a place where everyone is constantly trying to outdo each other with everything from their hair colors to their apartments is not actually too hard other than the fact that I look too…well, normal. To me anyway. If anyone even bothered to look at me though they'd see what they wanted to see-a maintenance man who doesn't warrant a second glance. Perfect.

As soon as I'm off the hovercraft and onto the street I found that Boggs gave me directions for, I enter the apartment building, slightly confused because I had assumed I'd be going to an office of some kind. Instead, I keep my curiosity in and my head down as I go to the elevator and push the button for the floor I was told, eagerly waiting to see what's waiting for me. When I arrive at the door I'm supposed to and knock twice and then four times before opening it, what I see and hear makes me frown.

Nothing.

Is this some kind of trap or sick joke? Are Capitol people going to jump out at any second to arrest me or kill me? No…no, I have to trust Boggs and the rest of District 13. If they trust whoever owns this apartment, so should I.

Too bad I'm not that great at trusting people.

Slipping out one of the knives that I put on the outside of the backpack invisible to everyone else, I carefully hug the wall as I search the apartment, every last room, bedroom, and closet. Still nothing. Confused, I go back to the room I came into and find something on the coffee table that I missed before- a remote of some kind. Since it's the only thing that seems to be out of place, I figure it's some kind of code for me. Surely the person who lives here knows I was coming.

I press the power button, and a hologram speaks from my left. "Idetification?"

I hesitate, but the hologram only repeats its question. I don't really know what to do, but I figure if it's wrong there isn't much I can do to kill a hologram.

"Lieutenant Gale Hawthorne." I answer to it, and wait holding my breath as it does nothing for a moment, and agonizing silence follows for what seems like forever.

"Accepted. Please turn on the television." It orders me in its robotic voice that sounds vaguely female.

I do what it tells me, and a Capitol man shows up on the screen as I sit on the couch to listen and watch, vaguely impressed and perplexed at the same time. Strange security system, though I suppose if I were secretly an ally of a supposedly deceased District I would take drastic measures too.

"Welcome, Lieutenant." the man speaks in a cheerful voice-though I don't recognize him, I get the feeling he's important somehow by the way he holds himself. Granted, I don't know Capitolites very well and to me they're all a bunch of airheads or narcissistic asses, but he seems different somehow. "I'm your informer for this mission. For security sake I ask you to forgive me if I don't tell you my name. My regrets for also not being here to meet you, but my cover requires me to be at the Opening Ceremony tonight so I shall meet you on the morrow where we will speak about your mission and what I shall do to aid you in it. Feel free to eat what you like and make yourself at home. The fridge is stocked and you are welcome to the guest bedroom to your left. I look forward to meeting you soon in person."

Well that's an odd way to go about this, but I guess it's the way I've got. Capitolites. I did almost forget about the Opening Ceremony with all the planning and getting here, though. I hope Katniss does alright, but I'm honestly not getting my hopes up. This particular area of the Hunger Games depends mostly on the stylists, and ours…District 12's, I mean, always suck. The poor tributes are put in some kind of sexy coal mining get up which sounds like it won't work even from the name. But as long as the stylist doesn't get it in their head again to go _naked_ with coal dust like four or five years ago, she should be fine. Besides, the Opening Ceremony won't matter too much in the end, right?

Instead of turning on the television to find out since I'm fairly certain by the clock they have already finished, I go to the fridge and get out what looks like a plate of spaghetti and meat balls to warm up in the microwave, which I just recently learned how to use in District 13. They don't have many of them, but since one of mom's jobs on her rotation of sorts is in the kitchens she learned how to use one. It's really not that hard and it's just a matter of pressing a few buttons, but it's kind of impressive to me even now that I've been in District 13 for a year. Though I guess when you grow up making fires out of necessity and cooking everything on an ancient stove you're bound to be behind in technology.

After I finish my dinner and put the dish and fork into something that's called a dishwasher, I go sit on the couch and go over my supplies again in the bright yellow backpack before sitting there thinking of how my family's doing. But if I start thinking that, I'll regret doing this. And I can't. I simply can't.

The next thing I know light's streaming through the window from the east, and I blink a few times so my eyes can adjust to the light, feeling the aches in my back and neck from my awkward position sleeping on the couch. How did I fall asleep on the couch? Oh well, it's not like I haven't slept in worse places.

"Good morning." The same cheerful voice from the television last night calls pleasantly from behind me, and I turn to find the same man smiling from the kitchen table, some kind of computer tablet in one hand as he eats what looks like scrambled eggs with the other.

"Morning." I say back as politely as I can manage. I never was the most polite person, but being in District 13 gives you a sense of where you are in the military pretty quickly and they expect you to act as such. Before I was lieutenant I had learned that lesson the hard way, even when I didn't want to. I wasn't used to taking orders from anyone nor acting in a way that wasn't my first reaction.

Even though he doesn't have much visible Capitol signs about him-his suit is rather normal but a flamboyant blue, and he has some sort of tattoo peeking out of the collar-it's easy to tell just by his manner that he's from the Capitol. That atmosphere is about him that he's had an easy life since he was born. It makes me want to cringe and rage again, but I hold back. This man is here to help me.

"I see you prefer the couch to the bed I provided." He smiles again, making a joke. He must think I was watching the television or something and fell asleep there. Well…close enough.

"Well I figured I might as well start preparing to sleep in trees and bushes in baby steps." I counter, which only makes him laugh though I could have been serious enough.

"A prepared man. That's the kind I like." He reveals before gesturing me over to a plate of food waiting for me. I do as he likes and start to dig in, the different flavors melting in my mouth. As much as I hate the Capitol, there's something to say about their food. It's the most delicious I've tasted in either District 12 or 13. Actually come to think of it…it makes me hate them more.

Suddenly the food tastes bland, but I force myself to eat the rest. I need to eat before I go into the arena, after all. As I force down the rest of my breakfast, the man talks.

"I do hope you have forgiven me for not being here when you arrived." He apologizes again, and I nod.

"It's fine." I murmur, shrugging. Really it wasn't that big of a deal other than the fact I was on alert for too long.

"The Opening Ceremony was wonderful." He comments, though I don't really care too much about them. "District 12 shined the brightest of all."

At this my fork freezes where it is and stare at him, perplexed. How much does he know about me? Did they tell him that I'm from District 12? Did they tell him the real reason I'm doing this mission is not so much to put a rebellion in motion or show that the Capitol-even their precious Games-can be infiltrated, but that I'm protecting one of the tributes?

"How so?" I ask as nonchalantly as I can, though by the glint in his eye I can tell he's not buying it. He must know some of it then, or at least that I'm from District 12. I guess he could have surmised that from my appearance, though. I'm distinctly Seam looking.

"They were on fire-literally!" he informs, and I must have a hint of panic because he assures me before I can say a word. "Not really literally, but close enough. They have a brilliant new stylist this year, one that has a goal of…making tributes shine and be remembered."

Suddenly I'm washed with understanding. A new stylist that wants District 12 to be remembered. I wonder how early this man was recruited or took someone's place? He must be there for the mission's benefit, right? Another Capitol rebel.

"Sounds…great." I answer, not really knowing what to say.

"Oh yes. Training starts today so I'll be leaving here soon. Feel free to do what you like, but stay in this apartment." He informs me, and while I'm not happy about having to stay here, I think I might know who this man is without him telling me as much. This must be the Gamemaker. Why else would he have to be at the Opening Ceremony and Training? It gives me an idea of what I'm going to do today anyway.

"When will I leave this apartment for my job?" I question rather ambiguously, just in case someone's listening that shouldn't be. He hasn't said anything outright about the mission or District 13 yet, so neither will I.

"The day after tomorrow. That's when your crew will place the weapons that we choose to put in the arena around the Cornucopia." He plays along, seeming a bit impressed that I caught on to his game. Maybe he is monitored, then. I'll have to be careful.

"So late?" I frown. I wanted to explore the arena more, but I guess I'll only have about two and a half days. Maybe there's no one else in the arena after they put the weapons and supplies at the Cornucopia.

He smiles at me before getting up from the table, patting my shoulder. "Now, nephew, don't look at me like that. You're lucky I got you in at all, and only because your mother insisted you see an arena before the Games. Since I do happen to owe her from long ago, our debt is going to be paid."

I know it's code, but as he walks away and out the door I don't play my part. I get the nephew part because it would explain why I'm here, but I feel like the rest is some kind of clue to me. Mother must be District 13, but I don't know why he would owe them for anything. Maybe it's not code. Maybe I'm just over thinking this.

Not like that would be a first.

Instead of trying to deal with it from the table, I get up and go exploring for something useful or informative. At least it's something to do.

* * *

"That little girl is watching us." Peeta comments in a low voice as we sit at the camouflage section for training, not looking up from his detailed work that's far more impressive than mine. Must be all those cakes he ices back home.

I glance around and as soon as I catch sight of her she ducks behind one of the poles holding up the ceiling, but I find myself smiling at her. But as soon as the smile graces my face it turns into a frown. This girl is from District 11, a twelve year old just like Prim. And as much as I hate that she's here, she reminds me of my own little sister and my mother back home, probably starving or just about. As much as I want to help this girl who seems to need protecting, I can't. I have to be selfish for once and think of my own family. I can only hope they're still alive if and when I do manage to come back to them.

It also means that the boy next to me that happens to be my district partner will have to die. I owe him for that bread when we were younger that kept my family and I alive and gave me hope that I could hunt for our food, but again I can't do it by giving him the Victor's crown. A debt that will never be paid. I wish I didn't focus on home so much, but my mind keeps shifting back to a gaunt and starving Prim and I feel shudders go down my spine just as the simmering anger and grief replaces it. She could have been fine if I left and died if only Gale wasn't stupid enough to run away.

Last night I learned what an avox was when I recognized the girl that we saw running about two years ago serving the table on our Training Center floor, and I had almost hoped and panicked at the same time that Gale or even Hazelle would be the next one I saw. But then I remembered that the boy this avox girl was with had received a spear in his chest and that all the Hawthornes were dead. They told me so, and even Darius didn't give me a hint that they were lying though he wasn't one of the ones looking for them himself. No one ever told him otherwise, so he wasn't likely to give me false hope. Besides, would I have wanted to see Gale like that, a mute slave?

No, not really. But it would have been him. I could hug him and then beat him to a pulp for running and ending up with that fate. For running and leaving me behind and now forcing me to think of the very real possibility that even now my family is starving as I eat the best food I've ever tasted right before going into the arena with the almost impossible task of becoming Victor. It was one thing to think it when I took Prim's place, which I would have done regardless-it's quite another to think it when you actually meet the other tributes. Or more specifically, the Careers and that monstrous boy from District 11.

"Let her." I decide, knowing that even though I want to help her and I can't it won't stop her from watching. As long as I don't acknowledge it she won't know that I'm not helping her. It makes me feel guilty all the same but at least I won't see her disappointment. Maybe I won't even cry too much when she inevitably dies. "It's not hurting anything."

"Twelve is too young." Peeta frowns, and then looks to me with almost a hint of admiration in his eyes. I know he's thinking of Prim and how I took her place but I'm not going to talk about it. I won't.

"She must not have an older sibling to take her place." I find myself saying nonetheless.

"Not all older siblings are as selfless as you. My brother didn't take my place." He points out, and I sigh. So much for avoiding the topic. I knew he had two older brothers but one I know is too old for the reaping. Suddenly I remember that the middle one is eighteen, his last reaping. Just like Gale would have been done. And yet Gale would have taken Rory's place to avoid watching his brother die.

And now they're all dead. It brings me back to the hard truth.

"I had no choice." I reply almost harshly, though I feel kind of bad about it. I know Peeta's only trying to make me feel better, but he can't possibly know all the reasons I had to do it. And as much as he seems to want me to elaborate and tell him which could be so easy to do with his warm smile and generally nice attitude about everything, I can't. I'm used to being silent and keeping my thoughts about everything to myself by now. The only person who could possibly understand is dead and put me into this mess in the first place.

And so instead of enlightening Peeta, because I can't leave him thanks to Haymitch I turn to my own work in silence and ignore him until lunch, hoping that anyone who happens to watch us thinks we're just being quiet.


	4. Search

**Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews thus far! I wish all the guest readers had accounts because I would so dearly like to talk to many of you about what you're predicting. Feel free to PM me if you ever do :)**

* * *

For a rebel, the guy doesn't have much incriminating in his apartment.

Or at least to me, a naturally suspicious person by nature. After a thorough inspection of the entire apartment (since I'm not allowed to leave anyway), I've only found out two important things about him. One, that he's definitely a Gamemaker, I'm assuming the one that Boggs had referred to yesterday which I had already figured out. And two, he either has some kind of infection or a seriously strange obsession with antiseptic-I found three cases of twenty four tubes hidden under the bathroom sink. Not that it's really important to me, but at least it tells me something about the guy that's helping me without knowing me at all.

All his videos, books, clothes, and general appearances in photos indicate what I could only assume is a normal Capitolite life. Something called yearbooks I found thirteen of, one for every year in school where all of the classmates take pictures and write notes to each other in them. The only thing I found remarkable in those is that it appears in general Capitolites don't dabble in body modification of any kind until they're at least ten years old. I honestly assumed it started at birth, but what do I know? The first indication of him being a Gamemaker I found was some kind of award he got with him shaking hands with some man I don't recognize, I'd assume the Head Gamemaker at the time. I'm pretty sure it's not the same one as it is now because the cheerful man that briefly had breakfast with me this morning looks at least fifteen years younger in the photo, though it's hard to tell when everyone can modify how old they appear here.

After that thorough search I somehow come out disappointed. I don't know what I expected to find really-a motive from a picture, hidden tapes and recordings, secret lair behind a bookshelf-but I suppose it would make sense not to. What's the point of being a spy for District 13 if you're likely to get caught?

It's just barely lunchtime by the time I get done searching, so I resolve to find something else to do before eating. I have what looks like a lot of meal bars and dehydrated fruits and vegetables now for the arena, but I know how quickly that supply can dwindle if I'm not careful. Since I also don't know how long I'll be in the arena, I'll have to eat more sparingly than I like. And I hope I'm in there for a long time; not for my enjoyment (clearly), but because it will break down the Careers faster than anything. I learned over the years that they want to get things done quickly before their supplies run dry because they don't know how to live off their surroundings like I do. Most times when they somehow lose those reassurances someone from another district wins. I'm counting on that to not only terrorize the Careers, but to show the other tributes that revelation as well. Give them hope.

Well…hope enough that people at home can do something about it. The only person that will wear that Victor's crown will be named Katniss Everdeen.

But to really know how to screw with the Careers, the first step would be to know who they are. Sure I could figure it out without much effort, but I'd rather not being going in their blind. I don't have to know their names, just their faces. So I turn on the television guessing that any channel will be featuring the Hunger Games around this time of the year and choose one at random, turning off the volume. A show about Victors is ending and I wait a few minutes before luckily one about these Games comes on, and it's about the tributes. They start with District 1, of course, and I lean back on the couch, observing the faces of those who in any other arena one of them would win.

They show the girls first, and the blonde from District 1 is what I could only describe as a sexy…well probably, slut. In fact, she has the general look of girls from Town back in District 12 save for the green eyes instead of blue that I did things with on the slag heap back in the district. I never really liked people from Town-still don't, actually-but I never turned down a girl, and boy did they turn into sluts when they were around me. But it was only for fun, and if I don't stop thinking about this Career like that I'm going to have a harder time killing her. I'll have to focus on her green eyes, the ones that could kill like a cat.

The District 1 boy seems like a tall, lanky boy from the picture with brown hair and brown eyes, but I know since he probably volunteered he's anything but lax in the killing department. Him I don't have any problem thinking of killing, and I daze out until the District 2 girl shows up. Brown hair and short, with a deadly gleam in her eyes. Unlike the District 1 girl who could easily try and use her flirtation as her cover, this girl probably won't hide her general gleefulness about killing tributes. She has the killer instinct, mark my words. Maybe I'll have to take her out first.

Or not. Her district partner also has the Town look, the same blue eyes and blond hair. And yet I know I will have absolutely no trouble killing this one. He's a walking monster, deadly, and wants to be in that arena. What's more, even under that gleam to kill I can see something else in there…almost like…enjoyment about killing. Not the same as the girl, but a far more dangerous one. I try not to catch his name but in the corner of my eye I see it on the bottom of the screen-Cato. Well I suppose it doesn't matter, because Cato will be the first of the Careers to die.

I sort of zone out District 3 because I know they aren't Careers, and only pay attention after a commercial break when they come to the District 4 girl. Reddish blonde hair and sea green eyes, she seems like a typical tribute from her district. For that matter, so does the boy save for the fact that he's kind of smallish for a Career. He must be younger than most. Normally that would reassure me, but not anymore. Nine years ago a boy came to the arena at the age of fourteen from District 4 and blew everyone out of the water from the looks department to wanting for nothing in the arena. But this boy doesn't look like a Finnick Odair to me, so it makes me wonder why he's going in the first place. Most Careers don't go to the arena unless they have that arrogant sense that they can win. He doesn't.

Since the Careers aren't likely to take anyone else into their pack, I turn off the television after District 4 is done, going to get some lunch. The televisions can lie and speculate all they like about tributes, but the fact is they don't actually have accurate information-Gamemakers do. And since I happen to be living with one at the moment, he can tell me more than they can. All I have to do is wait.

And yet when he does come back, he tells me nothing. Instead, after dinner when the lights are out, he takes me to the roof. As I look around the city from this view, he talks.

"Have you been gathering details in your time here?" he questions me, not looking at me but actually talking about what I'm really here for. I wonder if there's cameras up here but the wind's too loud to hear. Must be.

"Enough." I admit, and then look towards a particularly large tower. It's bright red from what I can tell from the lights in the windows, though it's hard to be sure when it's dark out. "You're the Gamemaker, you could tell me more than I could find out from a television."

He laughs, but there's no humor in it. "Figured that out, did you? Yes, I am, and it's most of the reason your mission can be pulled off the way you like."

"Because you're important enough know how to sneak me in the arena?" I guess, and he nods.

"That, and because of my job as a Gamemaker. Particularly, I am in the department of the arena itself, how they're built. The maintenance men going in are my own that you will go in as. But make no mistake, trust none of them. They wouldn't hesitate to turn you in to a peacekeeper if something feels off to them." He informs me and I frown.

"So I'll have to get away soon then?" I assume.

"As soon as you can, yes. It will be…tempting to adjust things as you like, but don't do it with them around. They'll notice." He smiles at something, and points it out for me. From what I can tell he's pointing to nothing, but I look anyway and pretend to be interested. There must be cameras up here if he's doing so. As far as the cameras know, he's just showing his nephew the city.

"Adjust things?" I frown, not quite knowing what he means.

"Weapons, bushes…starting plates. You'll see things that will be removed before the cameras start rolling for the general public. As tempting as it's going to be, do not change them to help your friend. People other than me, far more important people, will notice."

Moving things…there's a thought. I didn't really think about that. Actually, I didn't think about much except for taking out Careers and others for Katniss. But that answers another question. If he's mentioning her, he knows more about me than he lets on. And if the wrong people find out that I'm helping her, it would be bad all around. Who else could he be talking about for important people than the Head Gamemaker and possibly the Dictator himself? Not people I particularly want to know I'm there. Yet, anyway.

Instead of addressing the other things though, I go on the track of Katniss. "How's she doing?"

He looks to me for the first time and frowns, a strange thing to see on his normally cheerful face. I admit I did wonder if he altered his appearance somehow to look generally cheerful all the time, but it doesn't seem so. "Mostly just with her district partner, doing this and that. None of the skills you claimed she had."

"She's hiding them." I deduct, ignoring the part about her District partner which bothers me more than it should for no good reason. I left her, it's not really my place to judge who she hangs out with even if it's someone that will ultimately be dead soon if she's to be the Victor.

Funny, because I feel like I have the right to judge. She's my best friend.

The Gamemaker looks to me and nods. "Yes, I had assumed as much. A good strategy as long as she shows them during her private session. Even on their floor she's not training in private though like Johanna Mason did not so long ago, though."

Johanna Mason? Why is he mentioning her? But that thought gets left behind as my brain processes that he can see or know whats going on in Katniss's floor. A feeling of longing takes over me as I think of seeing her again, though I'd have no clue how she'd react. Probably pissed off that I left her. "Where's the building they're at?" I ask, and the Gamemaker shakes his head.

"I can't let you see her." He assumes correctly what my curiosity was about.

"She thinks I left her in the district by herself and that I'm living in the woods with my family somewhere." I point out, attempting to control my temper. "Can't I at least give her a clue that I'm still helping her?"

"Isn't one of the points of your mission to infiltrate without anyone having knowledge of it? That would counteract that if a tribute knew." He reminds me, and I shake my head. Yes, that was one of my logical points, but I always thought in the back of my head I could give her hope that I had her back before she went in somehow. I'm sure I could figure out how to get into the building if I knew which one it was.

Almost as if he read my mind, the Gamemaker continues pointing out things I don't want to here. "Aside from that, no one can know of my involvement for your safety and my own. I've taken great precautions to keep you hidden. Besides, the building is near impossible to infiltrate. The security is almost as heavy as President Snow's own mansion in the duration of the tributes awaiting the Games."

"Wouldn't want a tribute to disappear." I snort, but thinking of what he said about precautions. He had quite a few personal belongings here, but everything seemed pretty new to me furniture wise. I wonder if it's even his real apartment?

"No, we wouldn't." he half smiles, "Most of the security is to keep them in more than out. Even the roof has a force field around it that keeps the tributes in. And people out."

I huff in frustration, but don't comment. I'm sure I could find a way in even with that but that would require me to leave here and essentially abandon the mission. And I can't do that. Something I suppose became a priority in District 13 at some point. I have to stick to what I'm told.

When did that happen?

* * *

Another basket hidden behind the pole that keeps up the roof of the porch with bread, butchers meat, and vegetables in it, enough for two people for one day. I creep out silently from the house and poke it with a stick, just to be sure nothing is going to come out of it and attack me. I glance around nervously for anyone watching me before taking the handle of it and rushing inside, putting it on the counter.

It's been four days since Katniss left mother and I, when she took my place in the Hunger Games. The guilt I feel about that is practically eating me alive, but I know she would never have let me go if she could help it. Even now. What upsets me more is that all year I've been terrified when she goes to the woods and comes back late because of what happened to Rory and Gale and their family last year. It's not so much that I think Katniss would leave mother or I for the woods; it's that I thought the peacekeepers might finally catch her.

She reassures me every time she's late that it's no big deal, but it is. Besides, losing Gale has affected her more than she lets on too, and I think she's more careful in the woods now. She tries to be strong and act like she can do it on her own. And she can, she's proven that before she met Gale and in the last year. But she's not happy, and the woods don't seem to bring her the joy they used to even though I never understood that because they scare me.

What scares me more about this is that though she promised me she'd come back a Victor, she was worried about how mother and I would get along without her there. I was too, actually. But the day after she left, there was a basket of food on the porch, enough for two people. And again yesterday. And now this morning.

I have no idea who is bringing us this food or why. I didn't really want to eat it first, but I was hungry and mother seemed to think it wasn't poisoned or anything. She also told me not to tell anyone that we have it, so for lunch at school I still only take tesserae bread and goat cheese from Lady. I'm not really good at lying, but as long as no one suspects we're getting gifts then I won't let on.

What confuses me more is why whoever these kind people are aren't letting us know who they are. Wouldn't they want something from us for all this food? I like to think the best of everyone, but this is an awful lot of food for just being kind, especially in the Seam. The curiosity has only risen every day, and I decide that I'm going to find out who it is, even if I have to stay up all night and watch for it. If Kat could do it, so can I.


	5. Evade

The leftover fury against the Gamemakers is what gets me to the elevator, up to the twelve floor, and past the curious looks and acquisitions of Effie, Peeta, and the stylists after my private session. But no sooner than I slam the door shut am I going into the gargantuous thing they call a bathroom here and turning the shower on to drowned me out I slide to the floor and ball.

I cry for my father, who I never had the chance to really mourn. It's a stronger ache left inside me than I realized, and at least it gives me a reason to cry other than simply having a mental breakdown. And so I use it to add other reasons to this…painful stress that has clearly been bubbling to the surface for so long. Apparently I've been suppressing it more than I should have, because I don't see an end in sight to this very soon.

So I cry for my mother and Prim at home who must be worried and stariving without me there. I can only hope that my mother didn't go away again, but in this state I can't think about that rationally or with any hope. I cry for how horribly wrong it is in our district where men and women nearly kill themselves for a job that barely pays enough to keep you alive, how we just go along attempting to survive. I cry tears for myself too being in the Hunger Games. It seemed impossible to win even when I volunteered for Prim, even more so now that I've seen the tributes. There isn't a very likely chance I'm going to win now, especially since I shot a freaking arrow near the Gamemakers' heads. On purpose. I just let my annoyance slip and get the best of me and now they're going to kill me off for it.

I still have to try though, for Prim's sake than anything. I still have to win for them and make it quick so I can get home before they die of starvation. I just wish I didn't make it harder on myself by pulling that little stunt.

Gale would have laughed at my stunt, thinking it was genius and only what they deserved. No…he would have suggested next time I actually aim for their heads than at their stupid pig. Maybe I would too in the future, but that would require me actually being alive and making it through these Games. I may have shot him down and tried to convince him otherwise, but of anyone I know Gale would have been the one person I thought could have pulled off leaving the district with his family and evading the peacekeepers for good. He didn't. He died for it. If even Gale can't manage to accomplish that, how am I going to evade six Careers and Thresh all by myself?

Maybe I'll just hide in here for the duration of the Games and no one will notice.

* * *

This was far easier than I anticipated. I knew that I would somehow have to get into the arena, but I thought I'd be evading peacekeepers and sneaking in, destroying a few cameras in the process. Instead, I walked right in joking with another man in a maintenance jumpsuit with black and white checkered hair, the peacekeepers not even giving us a second glance.

The second I'm in the arena I breathe easier, even though that is probably the strangest thought to ever cross my mind. Breathe easier in the arena. I sound like a Career. But a Career isn't sneaking in undercover to help another tribute, and my presence will ultimately be the death of them.

I follow the crew of maintenance men towards what I can only assume is the Cornucopia, as we are carrying weapons and supplies there. We left the Capitol as soon as the private sessions began so there will be a crew tomorrow coming as well with specifics in the weapons department after the Gamemakers have evaluated the tributes, but we brought the standard knives, spears, etc. today. I'm carrying two boxes of food, which is rather heavy. I would have grabbed two backpacks like the guy walking next to me but he's got one on his back and is carrying the other. Since I already have my cool camouflaged bright yellow backpack secured on me, someone would notice that I wasn't carrying a backpack the normal way. The boxes are made heavier with my own supplies on me too, but I don't dare leave the backpack anywhere so I manage for now. When we get to the Cornucopia I plan on slipping away fast anyway.

That thought, however, goes completely out the door once we get there.

The Cornucopia is bright and shiny, painted gold already. There's another twenty people or so here already, all but two in the same maintenance uniform I'm in. The other two look to be some kind of managers or something, the bosses of the others. They're directing this and that, but that's not what catches my attention.

The starting plates are already in place, but some of the men are digging around them, placing what could only be the mines around them that will go off if anyone steps off before they should. And they're all labeled with numbers. I can figure out where Katniss will be without too much difficulty. There are marks on the ground where supplies should go, specific weapons, backpacks, etc. Even bushes and rocks are being planted in specific places around the arena, and someone over in the wheat field is releasing what can only be snakes into it.

Why would they be putting regular snakes in the arena? I suppose not all animals are mutts. I bet you could eat a snake, but I doubt that what they're doing it for. Just a regular old animal that could cause a tribute harm. But if they're releasing snakes there, are they doing the same for other animals into the woods? Rabbits, squirrels, turkeys, or even deer? They must be.

Now I know why the Gamemaker warned me not to get too excited. I thought he was exaggerating when he told me that I was going to be tempted to move things. I'm not supposed to do anything out of the ordinary with people around.

I never was good at following rules. Maybe I learned in District 13 out of necessity, but I'm not in District 13 anymore, nor am I in the Capitol.

So after I place my boxes down where other people are for now before going to the big guys to see where they're supposed to put them, I slip away. Not very far though, just enough into the woods to relieve myself of my backpack of supplies. When I take it off my back it turns yellow again, but once I place it in a tree branch about ten feet up in a few minutes it has slowly ceased to seem to exist, blending in with its surroundings. That is one cool trick, and I can't wait to see it when I put on the clothing that matches.

I head back towards the Cornucopia after I've marked the tree with three rocks underneath it that to anyone else would look like they were just rocks there, and head over to get an order from one of the big guys. The Gamemaker told me to do that but to not let them get a good look at me just in case they notice something off about me. Well that fear will pretty much go without worry because they barely glanced at me, mostly just at their stupid clipboard before telling me to get the red and yellow backpacks and place them at their markers. Once I do, I pretend that I'm going to help dig holes for the mines and make my way around the starting plates.

Six, three, eleven, one, four, eight. They don't really seem to be in any particular order, but it's clear they aren't going to place district partners next to each other. I'll have to look for both of the District 12 plates. I don't know which one Katniss will be at, but if I can manage to help her if she's at either then I can't go wrong.

But since I do have a mission and it's not just about helping Katniss, I try and help anyone other than Careers too. So when I go over to help at a random starting plate, one for someone from District 10, I dig a hole for one of the four mines that goes around each one. It's only a matter of slipping out the small pocket knife I have up my sleeve and cutting the wires after dropping it in and there you go, a sabotaged mine. Sure one out of four won't help the kid and no one will know the difference but me, but I feel better. Powerful even. I can fuck with the Capitol and their Games.

I cover up the evidence, and no one seems to notice something amiss. I'm good at that.

Once I do that I feel it's as good a time as any to disappear from the group, even if now I don't really want to. I want to sabotage more, move things around. I get that it's probably not wise to do the latter with those other guys around, especially with the markers there as well. But I can do it later, in the dark of night right before the Games start. They can't possibly be in here at all hours.

On my way towards the woods where I left the backpack, however, something catches my attention. One of the boxes in the pile we placed is _moving._ Just the lid, but it's enough to catch my attention. Curiosity overcomes me, and I stride towards it and look at the label. It says in bright red letters 'Rabbits for North Forest'.

Well I hope Katniss doesn't go north, because that area of the arena is going to be short some rabbits for her to shoot through their eyes.

I take the box and go north with it just for the sake of anyone watching before cutting east, going the long way around towards my supplies. I can't very well make it up the tree with the rabbits, but I do have some rope in the backpack that I can tie to the handles and bring it up. So I climb the tree and feel for the backpack, fumbling for the zipper to open the bag. Once I do, it turns yellow again before beginning to fade once more. I find the clothing that matches and awkwardly change out of the maintenance suit and put it on right there in the tree. It's sort of difficult, but once I do I hope the yellow is beginning to fade on me too, making me blend in with my surroundings. It's simple clothing of pants, boots and a hoodie of sorts that I can cover all of my face save for my eyes to see out of if I wanted to. There's even a pair of gloves that I can wear, which will be especially useful if I want to go completely unseen to a Career with a weapon in hand. Or no weapon at all. Very good for spying.

After I'm dressed I take the rope out of the backpack and climb back down, securing the box of rabbits with rope before climbing back up with the other side of rope in hand, gently hauling it up. Once it's up with me I untie the knots and out of curiosity, open the box carefully.

There's a dozen brown rabbits in it, practically sitting on top of each other in the box that is too small for that many of them. I hate to leave them in there, but I don't really see what choice I have. It will be better for me to eat them over time and if I kill them all now most will go bad before I eat them.

I leave the box up there with the backpack and slip back down to observe the Cornucopia. Nothing seems amiss, and it appears that I successfully evaded them for now. I watch them from the tree line, all the way up until the sun is setting when everyone starts leaving. It isn't until they're all gone for at least an hour that I go to the Cornucopia, however.

I go around the starting plates and find both of the twelves, eight spaces apart. I would have destroyed the mines in those too, but it already appears that they've been covered with grass and I would have to guess where they were now. Granted I might be able to figure it out, but at what cost? I don't really think the mines are active before the Games, but someone would notice digging for them and I'd rather not let on that anyone is here. My sabotage will have to be sneakier than that.

With that thought in mind, I go around and look at things by the moonlight, noticing that the markers for the supplies and weapons are still there. I frown, but I'm not discouraged. They must to remove them before the Games actually start or I would have noticed over the years, even on the television. I'll wait for that, then. It's not like I have much better to do before the tributes actually get here, anyway.

But I have to see if they do notice. What if they just go around and make sure that the things are in their place and don't inspect them thoroughly? It goes against everything the Gamemaker told me to do, but now I don't know why I ever agreed so easily to not touch anything. Besides, no one is here but me right now anyway, and I doubt the cameras are on yet if someone could even see me in this clothing.

Choosing something smaller but still rather significant, I find three knives placed on the ground, each pointing a different direction with the handles in the middle of their little triangle. I pick up one and inspect it, biting the edge of it a little to test it. Seems like good steel to me, far better than my knives I used for hunting back in District 12. It will probably make it more difficult to defect it, but I have to try. So I find a decent rock that will suit my needs and come back to where I found the knives, sitting down next to them. And I begin trying to dull the knife.

It takes a few tries to find the right motion and side of the rock to use, but what's probably an hour later I feel it again and I'm satisfied with the results. The knife will still work of course, but it's far less likely that someone will be able to just slice through something like human flesh unless they put a lot of effort behind it. And just because I have nothing better to do, I decide to sabotage it more, making what was once a lethal weapon no more deadly than a butter knife.

I would do the same to the others too, but my stomach is growling loudly and I realize I haven't eaten since I left the Capitol. So I put the newly dulled knife back where it was before going back to my tree, carefully taking one of the rabbits out of the box and slicing it's throat before going back down. I know I can't eat raw rabbit (I did once with Katniss and we both came down with rabbit fever for a week), but there's risk to building a fire. I should have just eaten out of my supplies, but it's too late for that now. So I go at least a quarter mile away from my tree and sit by the creek that I'm guessing connects to the lake by the Cornucopia, putting the entrails into the water to allow the evidence to slip away before making a small fire. Once the rabbit is smelling so good that my stomach can't stand not to eat it anymore, I deem it done enough and scarf down the whole thing.

Normally I'd keep the bones and make a soup with them or something, but I can't risk too many fires. Instead, I let them slip in the water as well and cover up the evidence of the fire to the best of my ability, putting leaves on top of it too just to be sure. On the way back to my tree I pick up some grass for the remaining rabbits to keep them alive and climb back up, going to sleep as best I can in a higher branch.

When daylight comes, I climb back down after eating from my supplies and water for breakfast, walking towards the treeline again to observe today. I want to see if they realize the knife is ruined or not. If it is they'd have to blame the suppliers or one of the maintenance men at this point, but at least it will be obvious if they find out.

And I watch all day, seeing weapons including a shiny silver bow and quiver (yes!) come in and be placed around the Cornucopia, waiting for them to see the knife. I wait all day, and hold my breath when one of the boss men is going around to check the other supplies to see if they are in place still, moving some of them and their markers this way or that. He goes right past the trio of knives, hardly glancing at them. Not even the sabotaged one.

Suddenly a smirking grin makes its way to my face. I'd laugh out loud save for the fact that someone would surely hear me. Honestly, I might have anyway save for the fact that I still need to evade them and the fact that I have a mission here.

But no one said I couldn't have fun with it too.


	6. Emotional

Peeta is kind. Peeta is generous. I owe him so much for that bread that kept us alive back when we were eleven, for the thought of maybe thanking him back then and looking down to that hopeful dandelion.

Somehow I don't think pinning Peeta against the wall with his hands bleeding from the pot I threw at him is a traditional way of saying thank you.

And yet, that was my first reaction after we finally got back into some semblance of privacy up on the twelve floor of the Training Center after the interviews. It was the one that came to me after the utter shock wore off when Peeta had his interview and revealed to not just me, but _all_ of Panem that he liked me since we were five years old, but I couldn't be angry there. Not with the cameras there, though I will admit it took some effort. I never even thought about boys like that, and Peeta barely knows me. How could he have possibly liked me? And of all people?

He couldn't. And so it had to be some kind of game, a trap. Maybe he was jealous of my score last night from the private session of an eleven-something which shocked even me with that stunt I pulled, though Haymitch seemed to be thoroughly amused and thought that they liked my spunk. Granted Peeta received an eight which is also an unusually high score for our district, but apparently not enough for him. So it had to be to hurt my chances. He has to know that I have to get back to Prim, but apparently he's not willing to die for it. I might feel the same in his position, but I'm not. And I'm more than irritated that he had to embarrass me like that to raise his odds of winning.

So here we are now, with me pinning him against the wall after making his hands bleed from a pot I threw to show him that I'm certainly not amused.

"What do you think you're doing?" I ask him through clenched teeth, pushing against his struggle to get out of my grasp against him. I swear I'm almost seeing red. "You had no right! No right to say that about me!"

Before he can answer though, the elevator dings from behind me and I can hear people moving into the room, taking in the scene.

"What on earth is going on?" Effie gasps as she sees the broken shards of the pot on the ground, the blood trickling down Peeta's hands, and me, holding him hostage against a wall. I let him out of my hold but don't go very far, only enough so that I'm still staring him down with clenched fists. I can't remember the last time I was this mad. Oh wait, yes I can. But that was also filled with grief so it's not the same.

"I'm fine." Peeta insists, though I wouldn't be. And yet he does seem pretty calm considering what I just did to him. "She just shoved me and I fell." He lies, though I don't know why. I wouldn't have.

"And why'd ya do that?" Haymitch turns to me with a look of 'here we go', evidently not believing Peeta's story. Which means that he knew this was probably going to happen…

"This was you're idea, wasn't it? Turning me into some kind of fool in front of the whole country." I demand to know, feeling more than a bit offended. I mean this is Haymitch, but the buildup of pain that he would choose Peeta over me is going to overwhelm me soon. Does everyone and everything have to be against me? Haymitch has lived in Victor's Village for most of his life, but he comes from the Seam just like me. I don't hold the resentment against Town people having it easier than us as strongly as Gale used to, but it's still there. And it hurts.

"It was my idea. Haymitch just helped me with it." Peeta insists, and it sends me closer to the edge to have the Haymitch part verified.

"Yes, Haymitch is very helpful." I concede, my frown deepening. "To you!"

"Guess you _are_ a fool, girl." Haymitch turns on me, "Ya really think he hurt you? That boy just gave you something you could never have achieved by yourself."

Achieve what, exactly? Is he saying I should look like a fool? "He made me look weak!" I protest.

"He made you look desirable!" my drunk mentor corrects. "And let's face it, you can use all the help you can get in that department. You were just about as romantic as coal until he said he wanted you. Now every damn person in Panem does!"

I try to butt in, but Haymitch continues, giving me a look that tells me I should listen and really take in what he's telling me, but I don't want to. "You're all they're talking about now; the star-crossed lovers from District 12!

"But we're not star-crossed lovers!" I object. We're not any kind of lovers at all. At this Haymitch grabs my shoulders and now I'm the one pinned to a wall. I look up at him half startled and half angry still, trying to get out of his hold. Despite all the years of drinking and doing probably nothing, Haymitch is surprisingly strong. I suppose he had to win the Hunger Games somehow.

"Who the hell cares? It's all a big fucking show, all how you're perceived by the _sponsors_." He reveals to me, "The most I could say about you after your interview was that you were alright enough, though that in itself is a miracle to behold. Now I can say that you're a heartbreaker-oh how the boys at home trip over themselves to be near you, talk to you! Which do you think will get more sponsors, huh?"

I suppose he has a point, but the only thing I can think about now is the stink of wine on his breath and that he's almost hurting me. I shove him away and this time he allows it to happen, and I step away from him, trying to clear my head. I put my hands over my face and close my eyes, trying to hold back my emotions. Since when do I show other people how I feel? I even hide them from my mother and sister for their sakes so they don't worry about me. The only way I'm going to get through these Games is to be all but emotionless. I should start now.

Someone who could only be Cinna comes over and puts his arm around my shoulder, trying to make me relax. "He's right, Katniss." He tells me quietly, trying to soothe me the best he can while still trying to make me see that what Peeta did was actually for my benefit. Fat chance of that. Nothing is ever in my favor. But I suppose in some way he did help me, and suddenly I don't know what to think.

"I should have been told so I didn't look stupid." I pronounce, thinking back to my reaction. I suppose shock would be an appropriate reaction to that confession of love, but I wish I had known because I probably looked like a mute idiot.

"No, you're reaction was perfect. If you'd known, it wouldn't have read as real." Portia claims.

Real? The only thing that's real to me in this surreal world is that I need to get home to Prim, no matter what. I need her and mother to be alive when I get back, which means I need these Games to be over with as soon as possible. I can never think of love or even the chance of it. Not with Peeta, not with anyone. I never wanted it in the first place, but now I don't have a choice. I've had no one to rely on for the past year. No one but myself.

It then hits me that is is around the time a year ago that I heard a knock on the door that very well may have changed how I feel about that forever.

Gale and the Hawthornes had been gone for about a week. At first after I figured out that he'd actually gone through with it and ran for it I was pissed at him. How dare he not tell me? How dare he leave me to my chances alone not only in the woods without a partner, but to feed my mother and sister all alone. How dare he leave me! For days I daydreamed of going into the woods and following their trails though I knew the peacekeepers would be doing the same, the only thing that kept me from actually going ahead and doing so.

Surely they'd be easy to track for someone who knows the woods as well as I do, not to mention Gale. I know him, he would have run east, maybe northeast, as far away from Panem as he could. He'd build a cabin in the woods somewhere, hunting for food and teaching Rory how to do so as well. It would be near fresh water, maybe a stream or creek or lake. It'd be something that was also hidden by the earth, maybe a cave or ledge of rock or something. Rory and Vick would never be in the reapings. Posy might not ever know of them, growing up in the woods free and as happy as a little girl can be in the woods. Hazelle would wash their clothes and take care of the kids, cooking in the fires at night when the smoke wouldn't be seen just in case hovercrafts came by.

I would have yelled at him as soon as I found him, but I wouldn't drag him back to the district. No, I would have never done that. I might have hit him, but I would have seen him, seen all that he'd done and that it was possible to leave and evade the peacekeepers, live free in the woods. Once the peacekeepers stopped the search for them, I would have secretly packed up my own supplies and taken Prim and mother with me to meet them, and we could all live free.

Never did I expect them to actually be caught by the peacekeepers. Sure I discouraged Gale with that when the idea of running came up, but I had faith that he could make it, especially if someone was carrying Posy the whole time. It completely threw me off guard when the peacekeepers told me they had been caught. Caught and killed without another thought.

And so my life had to continue, to keep my own family safe as I could in the district. It would forever be my fate in life, and I'd have nothing and no one else. I couldn't afford to teach another partner nor could I ever trust one again. The partner I had up and left me and broke any trust I could have in anyone but myself and Prim.

"It's not real." I assert, trying to stay emotionless, fighting back the tears that thinking of Gale even now can unwillingly bring. "I don't want to do it." I protest, even though I know it might be too late. Yet another thing I had no part of the decision in.

"What's your problem, sweetheart?" Haymitch grumbles, clearly frustrated with me. "All you have to do is pretend."

"She's just upset because she's not over her boyfriend." Peeta mumbles, though with my excellent hunting ears I hear it. It hits me like a brick, far more than it should.

"I've never had a boyfriend." I insist, my cheeks reddening as the only boy he could possibly think was my boyfriend crosses my mind. No, I can't think of him anymore. I have to stop. Be emotionless, damn it!

"Whatever." Peeta answers, seeming surprised I heard but not really embarrassed by it. "He won't see it anyway."

My mouth opens wide in shock and even Peeta seems shocked that he said it, an instantaneous look of guilt crossing his face. But he said it, and it's out there. And I lose it.

My fist slams into his cheek, and no one bothers holding me back.

"No he won't see it." I say in a low voice, tears beginning to run down my face as my eyes glare at him as he holds his now red cheek in his hands, staring at me. "Because he's _dead_!"

And at that confession, one I rarely admit out loud because I don't want it to be true even though it is, I run for my room and slam the door shut, wishing for not the first time that the last year had never happened.

* * *

They've noticed. I haven't been careful enough.

Thank god for my wickedly awesome suit of neon yellow that keeps me practically invisible to the Capitolites has given me more courage than I should have in this situation. They can't possibly have known it was me, anyway. I don't exist to them or Panem. I'm a runaway from District 12 that has lived in District 13 for months, and District 13 doesn't exist to Panem. Not anymore. But ghosts can haunt them as well as anyone, and I'm the best ghost they'll never see.

I should have stopped with that one knife, I knew I should have. But I couldn't help myself, so each day I picked something new to destroy. The night after the knife I bruised all of the peaches after eating one myself, something I've never tried before. It was very sweet and I wanted more, but I knew I couldn't take too many if I was to harm the Careers without the notice of the men beforehand. So I threw them against a tree to damage the fruit, put them back in their box, and left them. That same night I used a cloth from my bag to take poison ivy and rubbed it over half the swords, knowing that Katniss would probably not take one. It wouldn't necessarily kill any tribute save for them having a deathly allergy to the plant, but it would annoy and irritate the tributes which was enough for me.

But that wasn't what they noticed. It was when I dared to actually go into the Cornucopia area while people were there with my invisible suit on that they realized something was off. The damn rabbits.

I suppose they have a check list of some kind, as they get the boxes back and bring them into the hovercraft that brings them here. One of the big guys realized that he didn't have the North Forest ones, and got angry. He looked back at his list to see who should have taken it and questioned the man with dark purple hair, who was innocent of course and protested as such. They weren't having it and two peacekeepers came in and took him away to do whatever it is they would do with him as the bosses made the others search for the box, some going into the forest. When that wasn't working, one of them called on his radio thing to the Capitol to ask them to do a tracking check on the rabbits.

That's when I bolted from the scene, all the way to my tree where I'd been staying. I had the remaining eleven rabbits in their box in the tree, but that wasn't what worried me most. I had eaten one of them. Which means the tracker may very well be in me. Meaning they could know I'm here.

How could I have possibly been that stupid? Why didn't I even think about the trackers in the rabbits and other animals? Surely they put them in tributes too so they can focus cameras on them easily, why not their precious animals? And if they found the eleven rabbits in a box in a tree, where my backpack is…I'm in trouble.

Since I didn't stick around to see if the tracking worked, I don't know how much time I have but it can't be much. I climb the tree as fast as I can and haul down the rabbit box releasing all the rabbits. It's not really for my benefit later on to lose that source of food, but a necessary one. The rabbits themselves seem happy enough to be free. After that's done I don't know what to do with the crate, so I decide to leave it, climbing back up to grab my backpack and strapping it on, bolting south since the boss man sent people north. I have a tracker in me. I'm so fucking stupid.

And yet I can't just stand there, because they will find me easier standing still than moving. The rest of the rabbits are moving now anyway, so why not me? Though that does mean I should slow down even though every instinct in me is telling me to sprint. They would notice something going faster than a rabbit.

I walk. My only saving grace is that I'm invisible.

Following the stream, I look for a place to hide. Maybe they'll think that I'm a rabbit that burrowed down into the earth if I do so. Maybe they won't actually go searching for the rabbits if they find the box and sense all twelve of the trackers. It's the only thing I can tell myself to stop panicking enough to just walk.

Eventually I find by chance a cave, one that if I crawl in that I can simply place a few rocks over the entrance and no one can see into it. It's dark, but luckily I have light in the form of a flashlight and a candle or two. I have food enough that I can make it until tomorrow when the tributes come in.

With that thought in mind, I sit down and listen to my heartbeat slow down, caressing absentmindedly my bow in my hands, feeling the smooth wood and thinking of the girl that gave it to me, took me as her hunting partner and showed me how to use it. As much as I hate that she's one of those tributes coming tomorrow, I can't wait to see her even if she doesn't know I'm here. She can't know right away, but she will eventually.

I can only hope she's glad enough to see me that she's not still pissed I left her in the district. Somehow I'm not hopeful.


	7. Apologies

I know that I should be emotionless to win these Hunger Games or I'm never going to get through it alive, but apparently my big plan to start tonight was bound to fail. It was bad enough that I have Prim and my mother to worry about. It was worse when Peeta and Haymitch's plan hatched on live national television and I was thrown that bombshell. But the point of no return was the mentioning without even saying a name not only how Peeta thought of me and Gale, but that he forced me to admit what I wish wasn't true every day-that even people that you think are essentially invincible are, in fact, mortal. That I'm mortal and emotional and I've had one of the worst years of my life and being a tribute is the cherry on that slice of hell.

And with the acceptance of that failure today, I let go. The water never ran out (because this is the Capitol, of course it wouldn't) though I know it had to have been on for hours. Eventually I even got in it and washed away all the makeup, tears, and underneath all that I hope most of the emotions I wish I didn't think or feel. I can't have it tomorrow. I simply can't. It might literally be the death of me if something like it happens again, not to mention the death of Prim and mother.

I try and sleep, but I know that's a bust before I even bother pulling the covers up to my chin in the darkness of the room here in the Training Center I've called my own for about a week. Eventually I can't stand to just lay there anymore, and decide to go to the kitchen and get some hot chocolate just for something to do. It may very well be the last time I have the sweet treat too, but I try not to think of that. Instead, I pretend it's just a nightly routine when I can't sleep and make my way barefoot to the kitchen.

When I get there, the lights are out but I don't bother remedying that, finding my way to the glowing counter where I can order it easily. Once I do, I stand there waiting for it to come up or be brought to me by an avox when I squint at a sudden brightness.

Quickly turning around to find out who the intruder is, I find Peeta staring at me startled, sleepy, and swiftly turning embarrassed to see me. Which is just fine with me because I don't want to see him either. Maybe this will be the last time ever. Or more likely tomorrow at the start of the Games. I never have to see him again aside from his face in the sky one night, and then I can pretend he never did anything to me or for me, good or bad.

My hot chocolate isn't here yet, but I don't want to wait for it if it means he's here, so I begin walking away.

"Wait!" he pleads from behind me just as I'm almost out of the room. I don't really know why I do as he wants-maybe an explanation or an apology, maybe I'm just tired of being alone-but I sigh and turn around, waiting for him to speak.

"I'm sorry. So sorry." He begins, the sincerity telling me he means it though I'm not sure I want to believe it or hear it. He's going to be dead soon too, so why should I bother listening? But I do. "For everything. I deserved that punch."

"Yeah, you did." I agree, even though it sounds a bit harsh. It's hard to tell, but I can see where I punched his cheek has colored a bluish purple that ought to raise questions. It's against the rules to fight with tributes before the Hunger Games actually begin, but I've never been terribly good at following rules. Besides, he totally deserved it, just as he admitted.

"And not just for saying that behind your back or without your permission at the interview. I don't have a chance of winning, I know that. But you do. I just wanted to help." He admits, and I raise an eyebrow at him.

"An eight for a training score doesn't sound hopeless to me." I say, suspicious of him suddenly. Is this apology just some way to play games with my head so I lose focus even if it does sound sincere? Probably, if Peeta can do one thing brilliantly aside from baking, it's lying. And he surely lied his way through the whole interview. But just to help me? I doubt it. No one has that much self-sacrificing love for death for someone they barely know.

He shakes his head though, leaning against the counter as his sharp blue eyes bear into me, beseeching understanding. "I don't have anyone that needs me back home. It won't matter if I live or die."

"But your family-" I protest, but he cuts me off with a frown.

"My dad loves me and maybe my brothers, but none of them need me. My mother especially; she has her bets on you!" he insists, and it takes me a back.

"Me?!" I gasp, knowing now that this boy is good at playing games. There's no way his witch of a mother could ever like me or place a bet on me, particularly in this game. Careers could still eat me alive.

"Yes, you! She may not like anyone from the Seam, but it's not a secret in District 12 that you can hunt and survive on your own, taking care of your family. Especially…since…well…" he tries to explain, but his not bruised cheek starts to redden as he looks down to his feet when he realizes what he's about to say. "I'm sorry for that too. I didn't mean to say that, really."

"It's…okay." I tell him mostly just because I don't want to talk about it anymore, but I'm as unconvincing as I sound apparently because he looks up at me with a smile of pity that makes me hate it more.

"It's not." He says affirmatively. "And it wasn't okay for me to say anything about it. I know it's been a year, but I still shouldn't have."

It's only been a year. He says it like it's a long time, but really it's not. It's felt like ten years but it has been such a short period in my life. The side effect of loneliness, I suppose. "It's just been a year; not even, actually." I correct. "And we were just best friends and hunting partners." I feel the urge to insist again, hoping this time maybe he listens.

"Okay." He nods, apparently deciding to let it go. He doesn't understand that, but he's smart to not question me further. God knows I do enough of that myself. "I want to help you get back home anyway. Your sister needs you, you said it yourself."

I stare at him for a moment, wondering why this doesn't seem like a trick or a dream come true. "Why?"

"An apology." He starts off with, but I give him a look that tells him I know that his life for an apology is a bit much, I'll admit that much. "But mostly because it's the right thing to do."

I find myself smiling a little at that, though I don't really trust him. I can't. But there's not much he can do to help me anyway save for not killing me himself once we're in the arena tomorrow. The only person who can help me is me.

So with a good luck exchange right before an avox I don't recognize luckily brings my hot chocolate to the kitchen, I go back to my room to sip at my drink and drift off to a restless sleep in a chair, wishing that this was all a dream and that I'd wake up in my father's arms, the only person who's never let me down and kept me safe.

The next thing I know someone's shaking my shoulder and I startle awake to find Cinna with an apologetic look on his face as he studies me, and it brings me back to reality. The cup from my hot chocolate is lying in my lap and my arm is asleep from holding up my head while I slept with nightmares as my companions save for one dream. A rabbit followed me in the woods but I didn't feel the urge to shoot it though I knew I needed food for Prim and mother. Instead, I simply allowed it to follow me, grateful for the company. It was almost…peaceful.

Too bad peace is the last thing I'll ever get.

* * *

It's the day of the Hunger Games. I don't have a calendar obviously, but it's not as if I need one. For one I only got here a few days ago, the last day of training for the tributes. For two, the workers finishing up whatever they were doing yesterday was a clue enough. But mostly (and this might possibly just be in my head), the morning has an ominous feel to it. Death is on the way and everyone in Panem knows it, maybe the trees do too.

But mixed in with the ominous many other feelings are crowding it out to the point where I could almost ignore it. I practically had a heart attack yesterday when I heard some of the men outside of my cave, but they didn't really come too near me. I peeked into one of the small crevices left from putting rocks at the entrance of the cave and they seemed to be just going along the creek, not looking for a brown rabbit or me. Eventually they left and I should be in the clear, but I'd guess I still have that tracker in me so I'll have to be careful regardless.

I'm also anxious to the point of annoying, and not just from having a tracker in me. I didn't have much time to think about coming into the arena, but now I know I might just be the stupidest person to ever live in Panem. I mean, who actually willingly comes into an arena aside from a Career? Not to mention Katniss of course…that I still have no idea what to do with. I really want to watch the bloodbath and help her somehow, but I don't think that would be wise. For one, a rabbit would run away from that massacre and noise, not sit there quietly and observe it. Even in an invisible suit the people watching the trackers would get suspicious. For two, I'm not sure I could actually handle not trying to kill any tribute with my bare hands that comes near her, and the point of me being here is kind of to be invisible to well…everyone. I need to help her from a distance, though I suppose if she's in the woods by herself I could watch her at least. It sounds totally creepy but it doesn't feel that way.

Since the tributes don't come up to the arena until ten o'clock (I checked with the Gamemaker just to be certain) and they won't be in the stockyard…I mean the prep rooms below the arena until about nine, I decide to come out of my cave just to look around for a while. It's only a little after dawn and I'm already scorching in my yellow suit. The Gamemaker warned me that they would be changing the weather and temperature once the Games started, but I didn't realize that he meant literally the day of. If this is any indication of how days will be then I'm going to struggle with this suit, but I'll manage. It's far more important for me to be unseen than comfortable. Besides, if I pass out from heat exhaustion then at least no one will be able to see me.

Forcing myself to walk at a slower pace than even my normal, I risk hoping the rocks on the creek to cross it praying that they really aren't tracking their animals every waking moment of the Games. They clearly didn't notice the rabbits were missing and in the box where I had them until yesterday, so some hope I allow myself there. Tracking tributes is far more important to them anyway, not the animals. Animals are just there for potential food and decoration essentially, right? I'll keep telling myself that and hope it's true.

Once on the other side of the creek I venture to explore a little, going further out. I still have food but I don't want to waste it since I don't know how long exactly I'll be here, so I risk setting a few snares along the way, in my head apologizing to the Gamemaker for doing so since I'm messing with his precious arena. To make up for it, however, I conceal the snares well enough that not only will an animal not be able to notice it, but any tribute that happens to walk past unless they're in the exact right spot. Who the hell knows when I'll be able to check them, but there's got to be some safe time for a ghost rabbit to appear. Maybe this evening as the dead tributes are being shown in the sky before the Careers start on their annual first night tribute hunt, which works perfectly because I have every intention of crashing that party.

Once I get back to my cave after setting snares, I realize that it's got to be almost ten o'clock by now. Katniss has to be here. I unconsciously find myself cocking my ear in the direction of the cornucopia though I know it's hopeless. I really doubt I'd be able to hear anything from here even if the bloodbath was happening. The bloodbath, oh god. Katniss in the bloodbath.

I need to get in that damn cave before I start sprinting towards the Cornucopia and do something stupid. In fact, I really need to take away any temptation of leaving at all. I know I won't be able to control myself if I don't. So once in the cave after putting the rocks back to conceal the entrance, I put down my sleeping bag and turn on my flash light, fumbling through my backpack until I find the first aid kit. It was already loaded down with bandages and medicine from District 13, but I added a few things from the Gamemaker's apartment as well. I swiped some Capitol medicine, one of his antiseptics since he had so many I doubted he'd notice, some tweezers in case of a splinter or something, and my prize item right now, sleeping pills. I didn't think I'd really use them unless I wanted a mercy kill on some poor tribute that was in pain and dying anyway that I'd somehow force to swallow without the cameras noticing (yeah…bad plan, I know), but apparently they will have an advantage I didn't originally think of-taking away temptation. I can't very well go to the bloodbath if I'm sleeping, now can I?

Even knowing this might be one of the stupider things I've done in a while, I know it's for the best. So I pop out one of the pills and swallow it with some water, the effects almost instantly taking over me. I barely have enough time to turn off the flashlight before I'm a goner, the bloodbath only whispering to me as unconsciousness wins it's battle.

I can't help Katniss if I'm dead, but I can if I sleep until the time is right.


	8. Signs

Racing off with a bright orange backpack and two knives to my name, I fly in a random direction not really caring which one as long as it's away from the Cornucopia and the massacre occurring that those twisted people like to delightfully call a Bloodbath, which let me tell you, is aptly named. Welcome to the Hunger Games! Where death is literally around every corner and everyone is the enemy. Even my district partner. I didn't see him other than a quick glance to my right because I was so focused on the one thing near the middle of the Cornucopia that has to be meant for me; that bright shiny silver bow and matching quiver. If only I'd gotten to it.

I ran for it, sure. It was the goal in mind, but on my way there I found a backpack that had to be of some use to me. That's when things started getting weird.

When I got there, another tribute dressed just like me grabbed for it at the same time, a boy about a head taller than me that I think might have been from District 9. I'm not quite sure though, because in the middle of our fighting he grunted and looked back, his first mistake. In that second I pulled hard and claimed the prize as my own, but I didn't miss what he was looking at either-a knife on the ground that must have ricocheted off his back, what caught his attention no doubt. The second I look up I find Clove from District 2 about fifty yards away, appearing dumbstruck and furious before throwing yet another knife, this one hitting her still surprised to be alive for thirty more seconds target right in the forehead. Clove missed? This is the girl who I have never in three days of training seen miss a target directly on the bull's eye, and she missed?

No, she didn't miss. The tribute was distracted by it so it hit him. Was it the wrong side of the knife? Did Clove miscalculate? I doubt it. I'm curious about the knife but then I glance to the bow and quiver before back up to Clove, who by then had moved on from her temporary misfortune (in her mind) and set her sights on me. Crap. So what do I do? I duck as soon as she throws a knife at me, the knife whizzing past my head as I sort of roll and pick up the knife before getting up and running like crazy in the opposite direction of Clove, nearly tripping over another tribute that has just become a bloodbath. I zigzagged the hell out of there as Clove fired another knife, this one taking the backpack only because at the last second I protected my head with it as I kept speeding away.

After an hour of straight running and then jogging, I decide to stop at a random log to inventory my supplies if only because I need a break. It's dangerous of course to stop, but I'm certain enough that the Careers are busy enough finishing the bloodbath up to come looking for me for at least five minutes. The first thing I do is look at the knife that Clove originally threw at the District 9 boy that I pushed into my belt to hold as I ran, and it doesn't take me long to realize what's wrong with it.

It's dull. And when I say dull, I don't mean like it's supposed to be that way. It looks like a knife that's purposefully been tampered with. No wonder Clove didn't hurt him with this-at the most, the kid might have gotten a bruise.

Are the Gamemakers screwing with Clove? It doesn't make sense, especially since she used it during their precious bloodbath. Though this isn't a typical throwing knife so she must have just picked it up because it was near her. So…who was it for? I don't really know, but now I suppose it doesn't matter. The knife is practically useless except for scaring off another tribute if they don't get a close look at it, and even then that may last about thirty seconds depending on who it is. The other knife she threw that the backpack saved from my head, however, is a throwing knife exactly like the ones in the Training Center that I practiced with sometimes. Still sharp and useful even though I'm just average at throwing them. I prefer a bow, but unfortunately since I decided to hesitate and be so damn curious about a useless knife I missed out on that. Priorities, Katniss-clearly, I don't have them.

Which means I need to find them pretty damn fast.

A good start would be to not waste this precious time I'm taking to sit down while I could be running. I'm really hoping there's water in the pack but I'm not keeping my hopes up-aside from the bloodbath, the majority of those that die in the first few days is from lack of food, water, and occasionally the elements. There's enough cover here and I could probably either hit an animal with a knife or make a rudimentary snare for food, so water is my most crucial concern at the moment. And unfortunately being right this time in the lack of water in my pack isn't helping anything, but at least there's a jug for water (bone dry, the cruel Gamemakers) and an iodine purifier bottle for when I do happen to find water. I know it's here because while I was running I saw a squirrel scramble up a tree, and they wouldn't have animals here if there wasn't water somewhere. I just have to find it.

I'm about to get up and start jogging again when something keeps me in my seat-cannons. Normally cannons go off as soon as a tribute dies, but in the confusion and chaos that is the bloodbath the Gamemakers wait for it to end before firing off the body count. It's probably been close to an hour and a half that the Games started, so this is an average amount of time for a bloodbath. I count the cannons as they go, finding silence after ten.

Ten tributes down in the bloodbath, a normalish number. It sounds absolutely terrible but I wish it was higher just because one less person alive is one less tribute in my way to winning these Games and going home to Prim and my mother. I need this to go quickly or they might not be in such good shape when I get back; goat cheese and milk only gets you so far, after all.

Since there's no use wondering who the unlucky ten tributes are until I see them in the sky at dusk, I move on and jog in a different direction than what I started, going north instead of east. I'm certain that the kid that fought me for the backpack now on my shoulders is one of the dead tributes, but I can't be sure about the rest. For certain it's none of the Careers, they always make it through-especially since most of the time they're the ones causing the death. I would guess Thresh made it through too unless he got attacked by several Careers at once, but even then he might have a shot of getting out alive with some of the better supplies too, maybe even a weapon. It makes me curse at myself again to think that I left that bow.

I wonder if Peeta is alive. I suppose I'll find out tonight, but do I want to see his face or not in the sky? I don't know. If it is, then I never really did get the chance to thank him for the bread and that debt will go forever unpaid, but did his little plan to 'help' me make up for that? I don't know that either. If he's alive I think I trust him enough to not kill me on the spot though if I happen to run into him which will keep me alive, but I'm not sure I could kill him on the spot. It's silly, really, especially considering I don't know him at all. Maybe it would be the thank you for the bread-a life for a life. Temporarily, of course. I still need to get home.

According to the sun it seems to be around noon by now which means as long as the Gamemakers aren't messing with the time, I have at least six or seven hours before I really need to find somewhere to hide for the night, preferably somewhere near water. My tongue is dry from the lack of it and I'm getting hungry, but I don't want to waste any of my precious supplies in the backpack so I scrape off some pine tree bark instead and chew on it while I jog. Eventually I just walk because if I don't I might pass out and that wouldn't be good for anyone, now paying closer attention to my surroundings to find water.

I check the leaves and the moistness of the ground, following what should be signs of water somewhere near but to no avail. Frowning, I try again and follow a different sign, still not finding anything. Come on Katniss, you're better than this! I try again but this time I don't find any signs of water in my normal tracking ways and stop where I am, looking to the sky. I'm going to have to stop soon and find a tree to hide in before the Careers start hunting. There's no way I'm staying on the ground for that.

Reluctantly giving up on water for the day, I scout around for somewhere to make a snare, picking up a branch and relieving it of its twigs so it makes a sufficient base for a snare. On my way to find something to substitute twine like long grass or something, I halt in place, staring at the ground about fifteen feet in front of me. Blink a few times before scrutinizing it from afar before deeming it worth looking closer since I can't be crazy. It has to be what I think it is though I have no idea why it's here.

A snare with twine and three sticks much like the one in my hand, carefully hidden from view of animals.

Why is this here? Are there tributes around and they're hiding from me, trying to lure me in and confuse me so I'm standing here? No, that can't be it. Everyone is still running or hiding from the Careers to stop and do this even if they knew how. Oddly enough…it looks like one of the snares back home in the woods of District 12. Like the ones I've tried to reset perfectly but never could get quite right in the past year. This one looks perfect. Like…Gale perfect.

I freeze in place at once, staring at the damn thing before my heart racks up a few notches. The water signs that I tried to track today that lead nowhere. The backpack with a water bottle but no water. The bow meant for me that I never got to. And finally, this snare, this snare that shouldn't mean anything to me but does, more than anyone could know.

No, _someone_ knows. Someone knows I hunt and track in the woods, that I know my way around a forest quite well. The Gamemakers. It has to be them screwing with me-the signs that lead to nowhere, giving me hope just out of my reach. And this…like a cruel taunt. Oddly enough that's what clues me in.

They know I poach outside the district and this is my punishment. Of course they know I hunt, I think my private session with the bow would have attested to that. But it's more than that-they know. Even Peeta admitted that practically everyone knows I hunt outside the fence in District 12. It's also no secret that Gale was my hunting partner and best friend though apparently people thought we were more. It was no secret that he ran away with his family and they were all killed for it last year, and that I was left there. I still hunted even after that, more out of necessity than that I really enjoyed it anymore.

So…this is how they're coming for me. Was everything rigged? The reaping? It had to be, Prim only had one freaking slip in thousands! So…did they know that putting her in the Hunger Games would crush me or that I would volunteer for her? Either one would satisfy them, I'd imagine, so it wouldn't matter. It was my punishment for still poaching. It was all planned. Every last part of it.

And now I'm here and they're screwing with my mind, letting me know _exactly_ what got me here.

Even though I need to stop and find a tree to hunker down in for the night, I sprint instead, holding back tears and frustration as I run not in a certain direction other than _away_ from there. It's all a setup, every last bit of it. How am I going to survive and go home if the Gamemakers have it out for me?

I have to. I don't have a choice. At least now they gave me another incentive though-to screw with them.

It still doesn't mean I'm not going to run away from their warning that hits home far more than it should.

* * *

They're all almost giddy, whispering delightedly about what's going on in the Hunger Games that is so far away. The Vindicator, they're calling him. Someone who is messing with the Capitol's precious Games right under their noses, someone who is going to begin the revenge and justice that the Capitol and Snow very much deserve.

My son.

While they're giddy, I'm sighing and worrying about my first born. I know he's eighteen years old and chose to go himself not to mention the fact that he can very much take care of himself and has proved it since my husband died, but it doesn't mean I'm less sick with worry about him. Gale might be able to do all these impressive things in the arena, but if there's one flaw I know my son has even if he doesn't, it's that I don't think he'll know when to stop.

It's not that I'm not glad that the Capitol is getting what it deserves and that their Hunger Games aren't going the way they planned (or won't, anyway). It's the fact that it's Gale, though I knew he had to do it before he even told me. I knew as soon as Katniss Everdeen volunteered for her sister on the television screen that Gale would try and do something about it.

I always knew he would go back for her someday even if he didn't realize it. Frankly, I was surprised that he left her behind at all when we left the district. It was the only thing I thought for sure when he informed me that night we left that he didn't flat out say, that Katniss would be coming too with her mother and sister. It threw me off guard that Gale would leave without her, and not just because they're hunting partners or best friends. My son loves that girl even if he doesn't realize it yet.

I would have mentioned that, but of course he would deny it because he wouldn't think he did love Katniss. The only reason he left her is because he was putting our safety above everything, and even then he didn't tell her for her own safety since she would undoubtedly be questioned. My son can be rash, but he's not stupid. He's certainly proving that to all of Panem right now though the only people that know he's behind it are here underneath the ruins of District 13.

I'm not sure how he pulled it off, but he tampered with both weapons and supplies. It makes one wonder just how long he's been in the arena. There's the spear that didn't automatically kill a girl, though it did wound her enough to knock her down so one of the Careers could kill her then. There's the supplies that are ruined that seem to have not been opened from their boxes yet, bruised fruits and crushed crackers and dented cans, some of which are open and the food has rotted. There's the tent with a hole in it that the Careers are even now trying to fix. And there's the knife that was so dulled it didn't kill the boy when the best knife thrower I've ever seen in the Hunger Games threw it at him, the one that was fighting Katniss for a backpack.

My only concern now is where is he? I know thanks to Commander Boggs that he has the best technology and clothing that District 13 has as well as one of the Gamemakers looking out for him that is on the rebel's side though he wasn't technically allowed to say such details. Boggs seems to have every confidence in Gale and seems pleased so far with what he's accomplished. He has faith that my son can pull this off without a hitch. But I know better.

It would be one thing if Gale could stay invisible and mess with the system, especially since he's not being tracked by the Gamemakers. But my son…he won't be able to stay away from Katniss for long, even if it's just to watch her and make sure she's safe. While Katniss can do well on her own in that arena, Gale knows they were always better as partners, just like the woods. He didn't have to tell me that he was eventually going to find her in the arena-I already knew even though he would have denied that too.

That's the real concern, because once he does the whole cover is going to be blown to pieces whether they're careful or not about keeping it hidden. I care not only because it will be dangerous for my son, but Katniss. Who knows what the poor girl has been through in the past year though I've always known she is a survivor. Either way, she can't be too pleased with Gale for leaving her behind while we made it here to safety and away from the Capitol. And Gale, of course, will have to prove that he did the right thing even if it gets both of them in danger in the arena.

That is the reason my son is the Vindicator. Not to mess with the Capitol and not to start a rebellion, but to prove that he did the right thing by leaving Katniss behind. Vindication may very well kill both of them, especially when they are in the Capitol's territory.

And so I frown, sigh, and turn around back to the room where our family has been for almost a year and pray, not wanting to watch what very well may be the demise of people I love.


	9. Precautions

When I wake, the first thing I realize is that it's dark-too dark. Is it that early? I'm not usually groggy when I wake up; I haven't slept past dawn at the latest for years.

I sit up and when I do hit the back of my head against something rough and what feels like rock, grabbing the throbbing part of my head as my other hand lifts up tentatively to figure out what hit me. Oh, a rock wall. I blink a few times though it doesn't do much good since it's still dark in here. Where am I anyway? A cave? A cave…

Suddenly it comes back to me. I'm in the arena for the 74th Annual Hunger Games, hiding in this cave as someone who has infiltrated the arena to show that the Capitol can be fucked with. I'm here to cause some hell. And help Katniss win in any way I can.

Katniss.

The very thought of her name brings me almost scrambling to the wall of rocks that I placed at the entrance to this cave to conceal my being here. I look outside and find that it's still light out, but it must be very close to dusk. God, I've been out for hours! I didn't think that sleeping pill would knock me out for that long. It's frustrating that I'm behind on what I need to do, but more importantly, is Katniss still alive? She must be. She has to be. Wouldn't I have some gut feeling in me that was telling me something was very wrong if she wasn't? I hope so.

Luckily the sky shouldn't have lit up yet indicating who died today which would have probably been mostly if not all in the bloodbath. I can't believe I slept through the cannons though because usually I'm a light sleeper. Good to know those sleeping pills really get the job done I suppose. I'd endorse them if I cared enough.

It's a bit troubling that I don't know if anyone is around though, because I should probably get out of here and check my snares. Not to mention get something ready for the Careers on their little hunt, a surprise they definitely won't be waiting for. I watch out of the tiny hole in the rocks from inside my cave while I eat one of the power bars, willing my grogginess to go away soon. It helps once I've eaten something, but it's still not gone completely. Hopefully soon.

After watching for at least an hour and not hearing or sensing anything out of the ordinary, I deem that the closest tribute is too far away to see or hear me come out of the cave which means the cameras shouldn't be watching around my makeshift home either. It's still concerning that I have that tracker in me, but for tonight I need to forget about it, at least for what I have to do. It's not going to stop me, I've decided. If they think a rabbit is curious then they do.

Grabbing a few supplies and a smaller backpack within my pack to go out in that is also conveniently the same fabric as my clothing, I head out into the arena. Where it was starting to be boiling hot earlier before the Games must have officially started, now it's starting to cool off. It practically feels like winter, actually. Hmm…summer to winter in a mere eight hours or so. Now I know what the Gamemaker meant when he said they would screw with the weather. But apparently my suit of yellow is far more convenient for colder weather, because the only reason I noticed was because the bite of the air hit my face. The rest of my body which is covered in the yellow material is fine. Maybe it absorbed the heat from the day and is using it now. Really it doesn't matter, it's just nice for me.

I take my time going to my snares, finding a rabbit (oddly enough a brown one so perhaps it's one I set free) in the second one I come across. I dare not skin it yet and I can't risk a fire right now, especially since I'm invisible, so I just stick it in my backpack for now and move on. On my way to the third snare, the sky has now darkened and the anthem has begun, indicating that the death toll of the day is just seconds away. I stop where I am and look to the sky with a good mix of anticipation and anxiety, not wanting to see the only face that matters to me here in the sky.

The first face is the girl from District 3 which means that One and Two have made it through today-no surprise there. The next is the boy from Five which means all six Careers are alive. For now anyway. It's almost as if fate has left them specifically for me. Next is both from Six, both from Seven, the boy from Eight, both from Nine, the girl from Ten. I hold my breath waiting for more, but that's it.

That's it. She's still alive. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding in and count back in my head. Ten tributes dead, fourteen still alive-six of them Careers that I have targets on. I'm not particularly surprised that Thresh is still alive, but I am the twelve year old girl from District 11. She must have ran for it right away, which means she probably has no supplies. It's not good for her, but at least she made it through the bloodbath. I find myself oddly glad of it. I'm also a little surprised that the Baker's son from District 12 is still alive. I doubt Katniss would be helping him because she'd go this on her own, so maybe he has some skill I don't know about. Or maybe he just ran for it like the twelve year old girl did. It wouldn't shock me. But both District 12 tributes making it through the bloodbath? That is something to talk about.

So is what I plan on doing, but they don't know that. Yet.

I go on my way to the third snare and disappointingly find it empty, but at least I have one rabbit to eat. Now that that task is done, I'm conflicted on what to do now. My ultimate goal is to kill one of the Careers tonight, but I don't know how to find them. Well…I suppose I could just head back to the cornucopia and hopefully figure out where they are by all the noise they're sure to make, but they could easily go in the opposite direction of me and then I will have wasted practically the whole night.

Conflicted and not knowing what else to do, I decide to explore the woods more in hopes of them coming near me. After doing that for a few hours I stop and frown, knowing this is pointless. Maybe if I had a better view even though it's dark I'd find them. I do have night vision goggles, after all.

Climbing the tree, I find exactly what I expect-nothing. The Careers must be stealthier than I assumed. But since I have nothing better to do until I find them, I decide to just wait there in the tree and search, assuming that nothing will happen. Until it does.

A fire starts crackling near where I'm in this tree, a beacon of light in the dark night that practically screams 'Come and kill me!'. I doubt that's what this idiot tribute is thinking right now, but it's a sure fire way to get the Careers to come their way. Even if it's this cold and you don't have anything to warm you, this is suicide. I've never seen such an idiot move so soon after the bloodbath before. And as stupid as it is, it gives me an opportunity.

I shimmy down the tree quickly and quietly as possible, using my hunting stealth to silently jog close to the fire that I can just barely hear at first and then it gets more noticeable, slowing down when I come close enough to see a shadow of a figure next to the light. It's not a very big fire, but it's bound to get the Careers coming. I just hope they don't get here before she (I can tell now that the tribute is a girl) falls asleep.

It seems luck is on my side, because she falls asleep rather quickly after the fire must have begun to warm her. I wait about half an hour before working up my courage to go near enough to see features on her sleeping face and then stare into the fire, trying to decide what to do. I could just wait until the Careers show up to kill her and kill one of them. I could defend her, which I want to do. But that's not the real reason I'm here. It's not to help this unfortunate and slightly idiotic girl I don't know, but Katniss. I can't reveal myself too soon. So as sickening as it is, this girl has to die. But I'll help her murderers pay for it too.

Deciding on a snare of sorts since I'm best at that, I get to work, praying they don't get here before I'm finished. I take a branch that's mostly straight and sharpen it with my knife quickly, making it pointy enough that with enough force, it should puncture flesh. Next, I take some of my twine and I start winding it around the wooden spear I made and then decide against it at last minute, deciding to fish through the tribute's meager supplies to see if she has anything I can use. If there is any chance right now that the Careers think this girl made a trap for them instead of me, the better. Sure the audience will know something's up because they can clearly go back on the film and see that she did no such thing, but those here will be clueless for now. The point is for the Capitol to know something's up, not them. Yet.

Luckily her small pack has a bit of wire, which isn't exactly what I want but it's close enough. I use it as a trip wire tied between two trees near the girl, hesitant at first to use my own twine but decide I don't have a choice in the end and use it to finish the snare. Good. Now if the wire is tripped it will instantly spear the poor person that got in it's way.

I'd love to stay here and watch, but since I can now hear the not so quiet Careers approaching from the west I race about twenty feet away and scramble up a tree to watch. They come maybe fifteen minutes later, waltzing into the camp the girl has made with her fire low now. I can't see the faces very well, but there are five of them. They must have left one person back to guard their camp.

Hushed tones and then a scream from what must be the tribute they just rudely awakened with a knife or something breaks the silence of the pre-dawn, and then cries of mercy and fear and pain ensue. It makes me cringe to hear the laughter of the Careers who must be buzzed off their first post bloodbath kill, and I send signals of hatred their way from my tree. They're loud now, a boy complaining about the shitty supplies the girl had as the cannon booms, which will certainly wake up anyone that wasn't close enough to see or hear the fire and the Careers here. They talk for a minute I'd guess, and then all of a sudden there's a scream followed by shrieks of surprise. A satisfied smirk makes its way to my face unbidden-I'm not sure if I should be terrified or not at myself for being glad for it.

Shouts and curses and investigation can be heard from my tree now, a boy who's the loudest that must be Cato screaming at them to calm down. That they need to get back to camp. The girl must have been trying to lure them here but she fell asleep and while her plan worked, she died too. That seems to grudgingly be accepted and they all start heading my way to go back to camp. Another cannon rings in the air and I cringe at it suddenly. I caused that cannon. Me. I killed a person.

Well…I killed a Career. I should feel a whole lot worse about it than I do.

When they come near my tree I find myself looking down at five people, three boys and two girls. Hmm, I must have miscounted earlier. Could have sworn there were five people. Did they not leave a guard behind? Or did they? Did Thresh join them? Maybe I should investigate later.

Once they are on their way before I could even bother to try and figure out who died other than it must have been a girl by the scream of pain, a hovercraft comes and takes the two bodies. I wait a good fifteen minutes before making my way over to what's left of the crime scene, finding a small pool of blood smeared on the ground by the dying fire that is now just hot coals and the spear I made now covered in blood, broken in half where a lot of blood looks like it sprayed around other than a pool of it by my trip wire. The backpack of the tribute is gone, probably taken by the Careers.

I know I shouldn't, but I decide that I have to risk it and take out my rabbit to cook it on the hot coals, taking some of them and putting it on top of the rabbit to make it go faster. I put the entrails and the skin in my bag just because I don't want to leave them here, deciding to put them in the creek by my cave. Once I've deemed it long enough for me to be exposed like this, I take out the rabbit and put it in my backpack, feeling the warmth of it through my back as I race back to my cave. I have to find Katniss later, but first I need to get this stuff back to my cave and make sure everything is still there just in case.

Once there, I sit down and fill in the rocks, immersing myself in the darkness of the cave. I just sit there for a moment, exhilarated about what just happened. I have successfully killed a Career that would have been a threat to Katniss. I have sabotaged the Careers with messing with supplies and weapons. I am well on my way to finding Katniss and seeing her again, helping her win these Hunger Games.

I have the power in this arena. I control things. I don't care about a stupid tracker that's probably gone by now. It doesn't matter. I'm invisible, smart, and I'm going to fuck with all of them by choosing the winner for myself.

I'm not just the Guardian. I'm the Capitol's worst nightmare.

With that thought in mind, I light a candle and goes through my supplies, planning my next move.

* * *

"But Mr. Crane, we can't find evidence of her doing it!" one of the camera controllers in our base protests, the fear in his eyes equal to his confusion. "It's not there."

"Did you miss some of the footage?" a frustrated Head Gamemaker questions again. It's clear he's confused and agitated and probably a bit fearful considering President Snow is probably pushing him to figure out this strange occurrence.

"No! I've checked at least three times! There's nothing I swear! She didn't do it." He insists again, frantically going back to where the District 8 girl settled against that tree.

"Well look again! It's not ours and it didn't come from nowhere." Seneca orders before walking off to go look again at camera angles at another station.

I hide my smirk as I pretend to tie my shoe. I know who put that trap next to the girl. I'm also the one who messed with the cameras to hide the evidence of a trip wire and a spear being set out of what appeared to be thin air. It was just a matter of erasing the evidence with photo shop and there you are-a trap out of nowhere. It does not appear on the screens until the pack came to the scene of the sleeping girl.

Walking away with an aura of frustration and what appears to be doing exactly what Seneca is, I check my own personal tablet, entering a code and then another before a red dot appears on the screen of the map, running for where the tracker has spent most of the day in a cave I believe if I have the real map correct. What he did today was dangerous-I can't cover that sort of thing all the time. I had just happened to check on his tracker when he was there and found a camera of the scene, deciding to erase the evidence as it came. Boggs assured me that the boy was intelligent and careful, but he didn't mention he could be reckless too.

I suppose I'll have to keep a better eye on that boy. It's only a matter of time before he reveals himself in a way that I can't erase or explain, and his actions are going to end many jobs here I would suppose. Luckily I already have my cover for that accusation.

But I suppose when this is your responsibility, you must have a cover. It's how I've been able to live as a rebel Gamemaker in the first place. All it takes to have caution for someone as dangerous as Mr. Hawthorne is a separate apartment, a cover story, some drugged food to keep him there and a tracker he would take himself without knowing it. If I'm going to trust someone so reckless with infiltrating the arena, I must take every precaution.

Unfortunately I believe that means now I have to let someone else know what's going on. Luckily, no one would suspect him anyway if something were to happen.

It's time to give my old drunk friend a call.


	10. Instincts

I nearly fall out of the tree I'm tied in when a cannon breaks the relative silence of the forest at night, startling me instantly awake. It take a second, but then my brain processes quickly what just happened. It's the second morning of the 74th Hunger Games. This is the eleventh cannon in less than twenty four hours.

It had to have been the Careers, successful in their first night hunt of tributes. From the way the grays are blending into what is the sky I'd say it's just a little before dawn which means that they took most of the night to find a tribute, meaning they'll probably be on their way back now to their camp at the Cornucopia where the Careers stay in practically every arena. Since that usually means they'll be sleeping for the better part of the morning at least, it should be relatively safe for me to explore for water. I need it so bad now, I can feel the air which is already warming up again sucking the moisture out of me. My tongue is also dry and I have no food but the things in my backpack.

Sighing, I start climbing down the tree and listening for footsteps though I don't actually think I'll hear any. The cannon didn't seem to be too close, maybe a few miles to the south of me. If I have my internal compass right, that means they'll be heading west instead of northeast where I am, so I should be relatively safe for now. Of course there could be other tributes around, but I'm a fast runner and I still have a knife. Two knives, actually, but I hardly think the dull one counts.

Since there's nothing else to do really but look for food and water, I suppose that's what I must do. The water I need desperately and I already have a major headache from the lack of it. But I need to push past it to find water. I have to. Soon. So I go along doing my best to pay attention to signs of any water at all even though the Capitol must be punishing me until a few minutes later something stops me in my tracks-another cannon.

Another cannon? Were there two tributes that the Careers found? Did people partner up? Normally if there is partnering at all outside of the Career pack it's District partners, but from last night I know the only ones still alive outside of the pack are Eleven and Twelve. I know of course it's not Peeta and I so…Rue and Thresh? I could hardly think so, but what other explanation is there? Thresh I vaguely recall went the way of the fields of grain and the cannon was definitely from the woods-both of them. So…what the heck happened? Did the tribute kill a Career and then they killed them in return? Or the other way around? Both seem unlikely, but I suppose I'll find out later. I need water.

The hours pass and my thoughts of cannons and Careers slip away as I realize more and more how utterly pointless it seems for me to try and find water though I need it to survive. The Capitol is clearly against me in this-yet another sign I followed for at least two hours before it disappeared. And where the heck is Haymitch in all this? He's my mentor, he could send me water! But no, even when I shouted it just to let him know in case he didn't realize how drastic my need was, nothing. No parachutes for me apparently. Does the entire world have to be against me? Katniss Everdeen, the Girl on Fire, cause of death dehydration. What a pathetic excuse for that name am I?

But there's nothing to do but keep going. I go on and on, starting to stumble a little as my head becomes a pounding brick in the hot sun. I take my jacket off and put it in my backpack but the sun is only getting hotter. I feel on the verge of collapsing but I push on, thinking of Prim. I can't let her see me giving up even if I want to somehow. I have to find water and show those Gamemakers that they can't kill me this way. If only it was that easy.

Suddenly I feel as if I'm being watched. Silly since of course I am, I'm in the arena. But it's like…no it's stupid, I'm just dizzy and clearly not thinking straight. But…no, it's over there. To my left. I go that way carefully, following my instincts. Once I get to the tree though, there's nothing. I even look up into the tree. Is there a tribute there? There could be, it's not as if I'm the only person who can climb a tree. Just as I'm about to climb it for myself a twig snaps and I whip my head around to see who the intruder is.

Nothing.

I can't be crazy. This…just has to be the Gamemakers messing with me again, right? Sure they could snap a twig-they can do anything in this stupid arena. I go over to where I swear I heard it with my good knife in hand and find nothing once again. Annoyed, I decide to climb the nearest tree about three feet to my right to see if I can by chance find any water. It's difficult because I'm dizzy, but I take my time, making sure that my feet and hands are sure of themselves before climbing higher. I go at least fifty feet up before I stop and lean against the trunk, dazedly looking around.

Nothing again. Wait…what's that? Is that? No, it can't be. But it has to be. I scramble down the tree after checking the direction of it, hoping against hope that I'm not just hallucinating. I half jog towards it and slow when I see what I think I saw from up high, almost believing it's not true.

A pond. A small one, but a pond. With water. I check the water by dipping my finger into it and sucking it just to make sure it's not salt water or poisoned or anything. But there's nothing I can detect. Sweet, clean water. Thank god.

I put some in my container and the right amount of iodine drops, refraining from drinking it until it's purified just in case. No matter how thirsty I am I must wait the half hour. I haven't by chance gotten here for the Gamemakers to be able to kill me off out of my desperation for water, now have I? So I sink into the small pond instead and feel the slightly warm water surround me and clean me, closing my eyes for just a moment. I could almost pretend that I was home in the woods, in the lake that my father and I used to go to sometimes. It's far in the woods with an abandoned cabin of sorts. He took me there every once in a while and taught me to swim there. Showed me the katniss roots I was named for that lived in the lake.

I almost laugh when my fingers graze the mud of the bottom of this small pond and bring up two katniss roots, as if to add to my illusion. A brief respite from the games, I eat them raw, knowing I can't dare make a fire even if there's a likely chance that the Careers are just sleeping and I doubt there's another tribute for miles. My tongue is still dry though and it makes it difficult to swallow them, but I somehow feel fuller already. Has my stomach shrunken that much in the last day? Maybe. At least I'm used to not having a lot of food, I've been spoiled in the last week.

Deeming it long enough for the water to be purified since I don't have a clock to look at and I'm not sure how much longer I can wait, I force myself to sip the water slowly, filling it again and purifying this one as I wait for it. And then drink that one after eating a few more roots, staying in the pond the whole time. Drinking water, eating roots, lying in the water, drinking more. It's almost…relaxing. Or would be if I wasn't here.

Still, I know it's probably a brief respite. The Gamemakers surely didn't want me to find this place. Or did they? Could they be playing with me and they cracked that twig so I would climb it and find this pond? Do they want my death to be more entertaining than this? Probably. But there's nothing I can do about that now, so I refill anything I can with water and stay, knowing that at least I'll have water for when the time comes.

* * *

It's been a year since I've seen her. She's a little thinner, maybe slightly taller, but other than that she hasn't changed a bit. Same braid, same determined look if not a bit out of it. Same instincts.

It was really by chance I found her. After going in to my cave for a few hours and deeming that the Careers I would deal with later, I decided to go find her. A stupid mission since she could be anywhere in the arena, but I had to. She was the entire reason I came in the first place. I had assumed she would wake at the first cannon wherever she was though, so I followed the creek a way for about an hour, hoping to find her. She had to be near a water source, right? It's the first thing she would look for. And if she hadn't found it last night, she would definitely be looking this morning.

When it became apparent to me that she probably wasn't going to be at my creek, I went looking out in the forest. I mean, why would she be at the creek? My luck is not that good. But then…it was. It was around midday I'd guess. I wouldn't have recognized that there was someone near if it wasn't her I'd imagine, but there it was. So I silently crept that way and stopped in my tracks, finally seeing her for the first time in a while. She almost looked the same, but it was clear to me she hadn't found water yet. There was some sort of desperate haze to her.

I couldn't talk to her now. It would blow my cover and I didn't want the Capitol to know I was here yet. As much as I wanted to-and I desperately did-I couldn't. But that doesn't mean I can't help her. What kind of guardian angel would I be if I can't help her find something as vital as water? She needs to be hydrated.

So I followed her at a distance, keeping her in my view as I looked for signs of water the same as her. I climbed a few trees along the way too and looked around carefully before climbing down again, finding her, and then searching once more. That went on for a few hours before I finally found a small pond. Now the only thing was to get her to find it without me just telling her.

I started following her again when all of a sudden she stops short, whipping her head around and staring at me. Well not at me I guess since she can't see me, but close enough. I held my breath, knowing she would probably come investigate. Frankly, I'm surprised she didn't sense me earlier. She must be really out of it. Or maybe it's because she hasn't needed to in such a long time that she's forgotten how. Maybe she hates me so much for leaving her that she pushed sensing me out of her mind. I was her hunting partner and I left her. I won't deny that the shame of that as well as avoiding hearing her yell at me is part of the reason I'm not revealing myself to her yet.

When she starts coming my way I silently slip to the side of the tree, walking in the direction she's coming to get away from her. She can't find me. I'm invisible. But now she can sense me. It gives me an idea.

I look around and find a tree where I'm fairly certain she'll be able to see the pond from if she climbs high enough and looks in the right direction. Holding my breath, I watch her looking for what she sensed about fifteen yards away as I purposefully step on a branch. She reacts again, this time almost running in this direction with a knife in hand. Crap! I hide behind the tree, watching her from just feet away. I can hear her breathing hard, looking around for the culprit. I hold as still as I can and there's a knot in my stomach.

And then she climbs the tree and I can breathe a little easier. She will find it, I know she will. And if she doesn't…well, I'll make sure she does. I'm going to do my job now, be her guardian and get her through these Games alive. Seeing her in the flesh and blood has reminded me that she's the reason I'm here, not just to kill Careers.

If only I could get myself to talk to her now.

* * *

"You know he's my best chance in years, right?" I close my fist, wishing I had my other one for not the first time so I could punch him with my good arm. But it was my choice not to have a hand again. I couldn't let those Capitol bastards fix what they broke as if it never happened.

"I know, but think of it. We've been waiting for this for years and the opportunity has risen. It's already in motion." The Gamemaker tells me, who I have just found out is part of the rebellion. I had suspected, but I kept it to myself. After all, why would a Gamemaker be involved in wanting a rebellion to happen? Sure there have been stranger things, but he's not who I would have suspected. My contact in the Capitol is a maid of the damn dictator-not part of the Hunger Games at all. I must say though, it's a brilliant cover. Who would suspect?

But he doesn't understand. I'm at war with myself. Thresh, a boy who is strong, tough, and doesn't take crap. I've only had a tribute like him once ever in my twenty eight years as a mentor, and he was stupid. He got himself killed in the bloodbath. How can I give up on him for a girl that isn't my tribute? But she already has help, and the dice have been cast. "How good is he, this…vindicator you say they call him?"

"Smart. Knows the forest, like her. But he can be a bit rash sometimes. You saw what happened to the girl." He tells me, and I quirk an eyebrow.

"I had wondered where that came from." I comment, taking a sip of wine straight from the bottle. I'm going to need plenty for this idea, I can feel it.

"Yes, I tampered with the cameras but there will come a time when he does something I can't cover. That's where you can come in." he informs me.

"I don't know." I admit. Thresh wouldn't do it and I'd still hold out hope for him even if I help the girl. But poor little Rue… "My girl took an interest in her."

"Do you think that would be a help or a hindrance?" he questions me, and I shrug.

"What's Abernathy say?" I ask, not sure why a Gamemaker came to me with this idea instead of him. It's his tribute and this boy is from his district as well. Surely he knows them both so wouldn't his opinion be better than mine?

"I haven't exactly informed him yet." He frowns, looking down.

"On what?"

"Any of it." He admits, and I laugh even though it's silly at a time like this.

"You can't be serious! What can I do to help if it's his tribute and he has no fucking clue?" I chuckle almost darkly, swishing around the bottle before putting it down. This is just getting better and better.

"The fall will come to him obviously when he is revealed. I'm sure it won't be long now." The Gamemaker insists. While it's probably true, he's clearly forgetting something.

"No one would believe Haymitch anyway even if he did know. No one listens to him at all." I point out. It's part of the reason he can be so involved with District 13 directly. Honestly, I'm surprised they haven't told him yet.

"Precisely. And yet if you know, we can do exactly what needs to be done." He tells me and I cock an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"The girl on fire may have the audience, but she also needs the districts to back her. Who knows how the boy's appearance will be spun here in the Capitol? Surely we must have something to show the world that she is not a puppet." He suggests, and I think hard on it. Surely there must be another way. But there isn't. And I don't have much of a choice, do I?

"This boy better be good." I warn him.

"He is. What I'm more concerned about is how well they are together. And how it will play out in the end." The Gamemaker concedes, and I nod in agreement. Isn't that what it's all about, anyway? If we're going to play games and I'm backing another side, it better be worth it. I'll make damn sure of it.


	11. Wishes

I think in any other situation it would be creepy to think that I'm literally just sitting here watching someone do what is essentially the equivalent of nothing. Seriously, I'd doubt if she's even on the screens in the Capitol or the Districts for that matter right now. But I can't stop.

Fine, maybe it's a little creepy but I don't think of it like that. I think of it as…guarding. Yeah, let's go with that. After all, I am about fifteen feet up in a tree a generous distance away from her just so she doesn't sense me. She might have been able to if it was a year ago and she was up to par since even with all that water and roots she can't be entirely focused right now, but there's no sign of it at the moment. It bothers me that I'm almost disappointed by that. I don't really know what I thought before I came in here, but it's just…why doesn't she? Clearly she did earlier, but I was pretty close to her and she could have thought she was just being delusional with dehydration. I think I would have sensed her even if it had been years. Clearly I did somehow because I found her in the first place.

Since I have really nothing better to do than watch her and the surroundings these are the thoughts that pop into my head and stay there, lingering for me to feel like a more and more horrible person with every passing moment. I absentmindedly stroke the bow that she gave me once upon a time, one her father crafted so exquisitely with a skill that is entirely lost on me. Katniss and I tried once to make more bows-mine was complete crap and Katniss's was only a bit better. So we agreed to take very good care of the ones we had because we weren't likely to come across another bow maker any time soon.

She doesn't have a bow in here. I was hoping that my small adjustment of the placement of that bow in the Cornucopia would help her, but apparently not. She does seem to have two knives though, which is something. If only I could give her this bow! But…no, not yet. If that wasn't a red flag that someone is blatantly helping her and only her I don't know what would. And if they're suspicious of that, then they would come looking for me (or whoever they suspect is helping her). Or just kill her and get it over with. No…I can't just help her. I need to confuse them. What I need to do is help someone else too.

It can't be a Career. Part of the point of me being here is to eliminate the Careers. But who do I trust I could help of the others? I wouldn't know. And how would I even find them? It's not like I have a map of all the tributes that I can follow, not in the arena. So…maybe just keep that for later. For now I can just make sure Katniss is safe in her little pool of water.

The hours pass in the silence of the woods, no tributes coming by the whole day. Once two rabbits came near enough my tree that I could shoot them. I nocked my arrow without thinking and shot, but I only nicked one and both were frightened away. Sighing I went down to retrieve the arrow but other than that I haven't left the tree. Eventually evening comes and as I chew on one of the power bars in my small backpack and zip up my yellow hood all the way, I look to the sky as the anthem plays. I'll find out which Career I killed this morning. There were only two cannons for today's count, and both of them were for this morning. I guess the Careers were sleeping all day.

And right at the start, it's her. I stare at the face I took life away from albeit indirectly this morning. Pretty emerald eyes, golden locks of curls framing her face with kissable lips and a slight smirk that says she knows what she's worth right above the crest and number for District 1. Glimmer, I remember her name now. I stare at the sky for a long time, even after the girl's face from District 8 comes and goes as the anthem plays again. I stare and try to feel remorse. Guilt. Anything someone normal would. I murdered that girl, a girl in other circumstances I would have rather snared in my arms for a night or two on the slag heap than in the arena.

And there's none of it. Only…satisfaction with a smattering of disappointment for that moment in the slag heap that could have happened. I think it surprises me more that I feel a lack of anything than the fact I killed her. She deserved it anyway. She was a Career and ultimately in Katniss's way. She's a virtual pawn of the Capitol just like all of District 1 and 2. They're the Capitol's lapdogs. And getting through the dog is one step closer to the owner.

I glance over to the tree Katniss had climbed about an hour ago, already in a thin sleeping bag I dearly hope is warm enough for this weather. I can't see her well in this light, but the moon helps. She seems…puzzled. Well I suppose that would be a normal reaction. I wonder if she thought the District 8 girl had a companion that was the second cannon. Is she wondering if the girl actually killed a Career? Clearly I don't know anyone's scores on the private sessions for training since I was in here before that occurred, but it's not unheard of for people to purposefully get a low score. Granted that strategy got a lot less effective after Johanna Mason showed all of Panem a few years back just how trusting tributes can be of scores. Now it seems everyone…well not exactly disregards the scores once they're in the arena, but watch for the true colors to come out of the ones they deem to be could-be liars.

I wonder what Katniss got. She probably didn't try to get a low score, especially considering she'd want to go home for Prim at any cost. And being from District 12, she'd think she needs all the sponsors she could get. I know with a bow in her hands the Gamemakers would be impressed. Who wouldn't be? I mean, I see it all the time and I'm still amazed by it.

Saw it. I keep forgetting somehow that I left her and this is the first I've seen her in a year. Strange how even though I'm well aware we're in the arena and I can't talk to her it's like nothing has changed. So I watch her eventually drift off to sleep, and wonder why that is. I can't sleep anyway, I still feel a little strange after taking that sleeping pill yesterday. It's like my body doesn't know what to do with sleep. Must be a side effect or something.

And nothing happens all night…until it does, and it has me scrambling down the tree wishing for not the first time that I could reveal myself right now.

* * *

I'm dead asleep until something in me senses something. It's a feeling as if I'm being watched, or that something is off. Well that's stupid, of course I'm being watched and everything in this forest is off. It's the arena. But it still makes me wake up and at least look around. What if it's the Careers? I look around and I don't hear anything more, but I squint and see something before a deer whizzes past my tree, completely ignoring the pool of water and sprinting west. My eyes widen when I see a sort of orange glow in the distance before it hits me what it is.

A fire. A great wall of fire coming at me. The Girl on Fire.

Somehow that nickname isn't sounding too good now. I know Cinna wouldn't have wished for this to come out of him deeming me that with his outfits, but I can't help but wish for the first time that he did dress me as a literal coal miner just like every other year. The Gamemakers must be getting a kick out of the irony of it, but I don't intend for that name to be literal.

So I sprint, just barely ahead of the wall of fire. The smoke is catching up to me and I try holding my breath, but it's hard when I'm running for my life in every sense of the word, and I end up choking. But I don't stop because I can't stop. Not until I'm away from this. They can't win this way. Even if they're messing with me-and if I didn't know they were before I certainly do now- just because I still hunt and poach outside the district even with my hunting partner gone this past year, they can't win. Think of Prim. Think of her and mother, and how they are probably starving. I can't let them be dead before I get home, which means I have to get home. And quickly. So no, get out of this wall of fire, just turn at that tree up ahead and go right.

It's like they're mocking me. Can they listen to my thoughts now too? No sooner than I turn that bend than the wall of fire sort of caves in, coming now from that direction too. Right, guess I'll have to turn around and go straight. It's the only way I can go.

So I run and choke. Run and choke. Trying to stay ahead of the wall. Suddenly I'm gaining-slowly, but I am. It must be the adrenaline. It drives me further and further ahead and I think I see a river up ahead.

And then I stumble and trip. A sound of surprise and gasping comes out of my mouth as I hit the ground almost face first. I'm about to get up when I hear a whizzing past my ear and not ten feet to my left and diagonal is a flaming ball that hits the ground, instantly engulfing the leaves of the nearest bush on fire.

Had I not tripped just then I know that thing would have hit my head. It's like some branch or whatever I tripped over was looking out for me. But I can't think about my good luck now, I have to run and get away from this new attack meant just for me. So I sprint for the river, and when I make it I go in if only to escape any fire ball that may come my way.

I came out of it unscathed save for a few scratches, bruises, and an unfortunate case of smoky lungs. But the water is clean and cool and soothes my throat as I swish it around before spitting it back out, and I look behind me to see the wall has disappeared as well as the mysterious fire balls, all that's left was what has been damaged in its warpath.

They can't possibly be happy I escaped that. I know they'll probably throw something else at me soon, but what can I do? I have to sleep and I don't have any allies to take a shift. Trying to find Peeta…wherever he may be, is out of the question. Besides, where would I find him anyway? And if I was with him people would expect the whole 'star-crossed lovers' thing to unfold, which I'm certainly not going for. And I don't need an ally anyway. It's not like there's anyone I can trust. I can't trust anyone ever again. It's just not pos-

BOOM!

A cannon? Someone must have gotten caught in that fire wall. Someone died in a trap meant for me. Suddenly guilt takes over because that was meant to be my cannon. But that also must mean someone was far closer to me than I thought last night. I mean…I knew it was a possibility. Could it have been whatever I sensed when I was looking for water? Granted I was a bit delusional with thirst but I still felt something. I didn't just randomly decide to look up in that tree for a sign of the pond I spent the night at.

Could it have been Peeta coming to find me? No, probably not. Peeta wouldn't have hidden from me, but whoever it could have been didn't hurt me either. So…Rue maybe? She's so tiny, maybe she was intimidated by me. Ha, what a load. I was about the least intimidating person you could find at that point, with nothing but two knives and one dulled at that. But if it was Rue and she's the one that cannon was for…no, not her. That would be awful. I don't think my conscience could handle that.

I duck down in the water to clean my face and try and get all these thoughts out of my head, getting out of the water and untangling my braid, wringing out as much water as I can. I'm about to rebraid it when I'm thinking I wish I didn't jump in the river with my backpack on when I hear a whoop and a holler from across the river. Crap.

The Careers.

That must have been why the Gamemakers used that fire wall to get me to this direction! To them. I'm such a fool. They didn't want to kill me with the fire though it was ironic. No, they want my death to be painful and drawn out as well as dramatic. Me against five Careers with a single good knife. I've never been happier Glimmer died yesterday however she happened to if only if it's because it's one less person for me to face.

I don't think they've seen me yet. Or at least not enough to know it's me. Silently going into the bushes, I wait until I'm sure they're not looking right at my bush before running for it. I'm slower now that the adrenaline has worn off and the fact that it's still hard for me to breath from the smoke that's still rising from the forest, but they're way behind me now. I can tell that they're still running for me though so I quickly dive in a different direction and climb a tree, hoping to elude them. I scramble up quickly and I've never been happier that apparently I'm part squirrel.

The Careers race past me in pursue of another target, one I'm assuming was also near me. I'm sorry for that person but not sorry enough to wish our roles were reversed. I swear I saw six people pass when they ran but I couldn't tell who the other person was. Did someone else join the Careers? Thresh maybe? It seems unlikely, but you never know.

"Well, well, well, looks like we've caught ourselves a little baby bird!" I hear a voice shout no more than thirty yards from here that could only belong to Cato, the monstrous boy from District 2. "And she's only a little roasted."

Laughs echo after the taunt, but I freeze in place. A little baby bird?

Rue.

Suddenly I groan out loud, wishing that I didn't actually care. But I do. Rue reminds me of Prim, and Prim is the reason I'm here. And while trying to help Rue won't help Prim, I can't just sit here while she's in danger-and apparently burned because of a trap meant for me. Prim wouldn't want me to die, but she also would want me to help Rue.

I should be a whole lot more conflicted than I am. But it doesn't even feel wrong when I search in the direction that the laughter is coming from before climbing down the tree, holding both knives once I get down and quietly going in their direction as only a hunter could. I'm almost within sight of them when something hard hits me in the back of my head and when I turn around I see nothing, but I swear there's something there.

My vision is going and I'm seeing three of everything before my eyes close and I feel myself fall to the ground, a ringing in my ears. The last thing I remember before blacking out is that it feels like I'm being dragged across the ground, but I can't tell what's happening. All that I feel is the stone hard blackness that takes me in its arms and all the pain subsides, a welcome change.


	12. Deeds

**My apologies for the lateness of this chapter; I had quite a few exams last week as well as some computer issues. But without further ado, here's Chapter 12.**

* * *

Hesitating for just a moment under the cover of the bush, I break my own vow of not going near her yet by touching my gloved hand to her cheek. It warms me all the way through, as if this is a dangerous and exciting thing even though it shouldn't be a big deal but it is. It seems like the biggest deal in the world.

Granted that's a bit silly because she won't remember it at all. She's out cold, I made sure of that. Was it a dick move for me to use a skill I wouldn't have known had I not been in the more intensive training that being a lieutenant required? Of course it was, but it was absolutely necessary under the circumstances. I don't know all the real details behind it, but basically if you push into the back of someone's neck at the medulla long enough, it knocks them out for a while. I'm not entirely sure how long I have, but it's got to be enough time. I couldn't let her go against the Careers, not with only two knives just to save another tribute. It was suicide.

For her. I still can though.

It's actually an almost perfect situation really. I needed to show that I'm here to help not just Katniss but all non-Career tributes, and here comes one walking almost right in front of me. I have the superior camouflage, my bow if I really need it, and most of all-the element of surprise. Or not just surprise, more like complete invisibility because I don't exist to them. There's just one thing giving me pause. I swear there was a sixth person running past, which makes no sense. At all. I killed Glimmer so there should only be five of them. Of course it's entirely possible that someone else joined up with them, but it's not normal. And I'm certain it wasn't Thresh, none of them were tall enough or dark enough in complexion to be the burly tribute from District 11. So who the fuck is it?

Time to find out.

Almost regretfully I leave Katniss where she is, knowing two things at once. One, she's going to be fairly safe there considering the main threat is preoccupied and she's unseen from plain view. And two, the Gamemaker is going to kill me. He said he'd try to cover me for as long as possible, and he just might be able to again. That is, if the cameras weren't really on Katniss. You'd think they'd be mostly on the action I'm going towards, but she _was_ going for it. Hopefully it wasn't too bad. But since I'm pretty much going through with this regardless, I shrug internally and nock an arrow out of habit more than the fact that I plan on using it.

The laughing of the Careers is what I follow, an easy trail of sound in an otherwise quiet forest. They aren't far off, and within a few minutes they're in my view. There are definitely six people. Four are on the ground and two are just beginning to climb a tree. I look up to their victim and freeze, though I should have guessed before.

A little baby bird. The little girl from District 11. Of course, the girl who reminds me a bit of Prim. Who else would Katniss risk it all for?

She's clearly injured but she tries jumping from branch to branch and tree to tree. So this is how she's lived thus far. Staying up there. Since she's slower than normal I'd guess from her injury (didn't Cato say something about her being roasted?), the Careers easily follow her, one of the two climbing jumping down while the other slowly continues up, certainly not the best climber I've seen. Since the little girl…Rue, yeah, that's her name is safe up there momentarily, I look to the Careers.

The one climbing is a boy with reddish blonde hair, though I don't really know who he is from behind. My only guess is that he's the boy from District 4. There are two girls, the small but deadly one from Two named Clove and the one from Four that I can't remember her name. And then there are three more guys, two blonde and one brown haired. So there is another person with them! The burliest of them is so obviously Cato that I glance over him to the other two who are looking up to Rue. Only one of them gives me pause and my bow automatically comes up to aim at him.

Peeta Mellark.

I blink again before releasing on instinct just in case my eyes are playing tricks on me. Because there's no fucking way someone from District 12 much less the baker's son is with the Careers. My instinct to kill him instantly is warring with my wanting to laugh, just because this can't be true. It's impossible. Why would someone do such an obviously hated thing? District 12 hates the Careers, but someone from an outside district joining them is doubly hated. I think this is the first time ever someone from our district has done so, so he can't really be loved right now back in Twelve. I'd be doing them all a favor by killing him now.

But two things stop me. One, the first thing that comes to mind. Why would the Careers accept him? It doesn't make any sense. Surely it's not because they want him for his pie making skills. Maybe it's for…something they think he can do for them. Maybe they think he'll lead them to his District partner; Katniss. I don't know why they'd personally be after her, but I can't think of a better explanation. The other thing that stops me is that unlike the Careers, Peeta isn't laughing. He's there and standing pointing and following the Careers, even a few shouts now and then, but he's frowning. He doesn't like this.

Why would he be with the Careers if he doesn't like what they do?

I force myself to lower the bow, though I don't unnock the arrow just yet. I'd rather ask what the fuck he's doing before I have to kill him, mostly because I don't want to kill him. I may have been gone for a year and I don't actually know him. And yeah he's going to have to die eventually. But not necessarily by my hand.

Instead, I look back up to Rue. She's two trees over now from the original one, and when I look to that I see that the District 4 boy has given up on that tree to go climb the one she's on now. It seems to be easier to climb though I can't see it very well in the just graying sky of a new day because he's gaining. Rue seems to know this and tries to go higher and higher into the tree, her lack of weight helping her. But it's not going to be enough. She'll die soon.

The laughter is getting to me, as if it's not only mocking her but me. Ha, ha, ha, who are you? You can't save anyone. You can't save Katniss. You'll never win. Ha, ha, ha!

No, I have to do this! If I can't save her, then I can't save anyone. And I will! Starting with doing part of what I came here in the first place to do.

Before I even know what I'm doing, an arrow pierces through the boy climbing Rue's tree right in the back where his heart would be. He falls instantly and hits the ground with a thump, screams and shouts and gasps of horror and surprise filling the air around him.

Instead of looking to him, the Careers and Peeta look around, one of the girls looking in my direction, where the arrow came from.

"It came from over th-" she begins before a sharp high-pitched girlish scream from above cuts her off, effectively grabbing everyone's attention. Rue has climbed almost to the top of the tree onto the very highest branches, and she's currently dangling as it leans over, threatening to break.

Before anyone can say a thing, the telling crack of a branch fills the air along with her screams, the top branch she's on as well as a few more falling down to the ground. And when it does, chaos ensues.

I don't know what they are, but it's some kind of bug that swarms from what must have been a broken hive, probably bees or something. I glance up to the tree since I don't see Rue on the ground and find that she's hanging on to a branch about fifty feet up, clearly hurt and scared but very much alive. As she swings herself onto the branch to sit on it I feel the bite of a sting on my wrist, and look down.

It's hard to tell, but it's clearly a bug, something like a bee that must have found itself coming to me by leaving the swarm that's following the Careers. It looks like a hornet now that I get a closer look, but when it flies off and I take the stinger out I instantly feel woozy, and I realize what it is. Tracker jackers.

Shit.

I run in the direction of the Careers, thankful for my suit that must protect me at least a little from the dangerous mutations. They run and run as the tracker jackers follow them, swatting away. It's not too long before I follow them to the lake that's near the Cornucopia and I realize just how close we were to their camp. Two of them are right in front of me and stumble as the tracker jackers swarm away, but no enough that they aren't affected and stung quite a few times. The others are running into the lake, splashing and hoping that the mutations don't follow them and go away. Somewhere in the background a cannon sounds, though I barely hear it. I don't have time to think about it anyway.

Though I'm fairly certain I got stung another time or two, I'm still sober enough to realize who's closest to me. I run over to him and roughly turn him over, pressing him back into the ground.

His blue eyes widen as they look up, and somehow I realize that it's not only out of shock. My hood must have come down a little so that he can see me. But how much could he possibly recognize me? When we traded at the bakery it was always with his father, and we weren't in the same grade. He was in Katniss's grade and his brother was in mine, but he can't know who I am. Or…maybe he does sort of. I can imagine the rumors that went flying when people realized that I and my family ran away and evaded the peacekeepers. Maybe he's even in awe of me, like a hero or something.

Or maybe he's just surprised that someone is holding him down that's practically invisible. The Tracker Jacker venom must be affecting me. He doesn't know who I am, he just knows someone is pinning him down.

"Ga-" he starts to say in shock before I put a hand to his mouth and a knife to his throat. Shit, he does recognize me. I can't have him saying my name! Not here, not now, not ever.

I lean down close and whisper so that only (hopefully) he can hear me. "Say that and you die." He nods almost in perceptively, but I get it. I let my hand free of his face and hold it next to it, needing the support to stay up. We both clearly have a few stings, though he seems to have more. Maybe he'll think this is all an illusion from the venom.

Now comes the decision. To actually kill him or not. Kill or no. Alive baker, dead baker. The venom making it's way into me says yes. The drive to kill Careers says yes. What do I say?

What do I say? What I really want is to ask him a million questions, namely why the fuck is he with the Careers. But his eyes widen and close and he looks around like he's terrified before his eyes shut and he slumps over, unconscious. I lean back on my knees and ponder for a moment. It would be so easy, so simple to kill him now. To kill all of them, really, mostly because if the rest of the Careers aren't unconscious yet they will be soon. They won't be up to par in fighting.

But I don't want to kill Peeta yet. I'm not a murderer. Just because…just because he betrayed District 12 by getting in with these fuckers doesn't mean I should kill him. Yet. More likely than not the Careers will do it themselves after a time. Besides, I did my good deed for the day. I saved Rue, albeit she's clearly injured. But she was already, and that boy would have killed her had I not shot him.

I shot him. With my bow. With an arrow from District 12 and not from here and they know. They'll know I'm here. Someone's…someone's going to kill me for doing that, but who? What's his name? Do I even know it?

I shot him through the back didn't I? Right through his black heart, like all Careers. I should have shot him somewhere more dramatic like through the eye. Even though I'm a good shot, I was never as good as…as good as.

Catnip!

I race towards where I left her (or at least where I think I did), but it's becoming harder. I'm starting to get dizzy but I persist, and soon I make it to where I think I left her. It takes me a few looking in bushes but eventually I catch sight of her boot and I scramble over to her, my hand going to her cheek again. She's still unconscious, though it seems she got stung from a stray tracker jacker or two too. I start pulling the stingers out before pausing for a moment, and then taking off my quiver and putting her hand closed around the strap before putting the bow in the other hand. If…whoever it was can't cover me (why is he supposed to cover me?) can't, then she needs the bow. She needs it anyway, I can't have her going around with just a fucking knife!

I 'm just about to leave when her eyes slit open and she looks up hazily. Before she can see me though I run away, stumbing towards my cave. I have to get there, to safety before I collapse. I have to get there.

I think sheer determination gets me to the creek mostly sober, but it takes effort to get across it as I start seeing things in my path, monsters that look a hell of a lot like Careers and weird things that are trying to shoot me that have three heads. But they don't follow me out of the river and I stumble around before finding the entrance to my cave, shutting myself in the dark. When I sit down I feel another stinger that's aching in the inside of my suit and I strip out of the clothing, down to my bare chest on top. I pull a stinger out of my back and grunt, breathing heavily.

The dark is so terrifying, but I know I'm safe here. I have to be safe here. No one knows I'm here, no one at all. Just…just…

Yeah, just no one. I'm alone, and in the dark, and I let the warmth of it take me in and shut out everything else, the one thought in my head that I did a good deed no matter what the terrors say. I can't let them get her, get me, get anyone.


End file.
